If
by cleverusername1
Summary: Saya sabotages a relationship, Saeko discovers that baseball pants are sexy, Mr. Kashiwazaki's breezy kimono causes problems, Takashi gets suspended, and Kodaka swings a skillet. Do you enjoy reading about serial killers? Cults? Human origami? If so, you're in luck. This story also contains a meat piñata, aggressively twerking Spaniards, and some much needed backstory. Enjoy!
1. Saeko's ASSessment

I don't anything associated with Highschool Of The Dead, Haganai, Toradora, Ore no Imōto ga Konna ni Kawaii Wake ga Nai, or anything else I intentionally or unintentionally reference. Please note that this story contains strong language, descriptive violence, and adult humor. Please proceed with caution and discretion.

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><p>"Alright Mr. Komuro, start from the beginning" The Fujimi Academy principal calmly requested<p>

"The beginning?" The spiky haired boy in front of his desk inquired while shifting uncomfortably

"Yes, the beginning" The principal repeated patiently

"…How far back?" Takashi hesitantly queried while staring a hole in the floor

"As far back as you deem necessary" The principal sighed "Brawling on school grounds is a grievous offence, and I want to hear your testimony"

"Alright" Takashi nodded "I'll start from the beginning. My life went to hell little over a week ago…"

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><p><strong>15 days before Z-Day: Fujimi Academy<strong>

"Father, I'm done with practice. I'll be waiting for you to pick me up"

"Alright Saeko. I'll be there after my meeting. Love you."

"Love you too"

After hanging up, Saeko Busujima left the kendo club facility and walked out into the cool evening air. As was the norm, she caught the attention of all passing males who gazed at her with unbridled lust as she walked to the entrance of the school and as always: she ignored them completely. It wasn't as if she didn't like men, she just had no respect for those who would stare so… impolitely. It was getting dark outside, and while she wasn't afraid of being attacked she was averse to catching a cold.

She heard faint cheers, and noticed lights shining near the athletic facility. After texting her dad, she went to investigate. The source of the cheering turned out to be a crowd at a baseball game.

Her school, Fujimi Academy, was playing the team of the Catholic school across town. Her dad was a huge baseball fan, so she figured she'd make him proud and try to learn something about the game. She ascended the bleachers, and took a seat next to a tall blonde-haired boy with a mohawk. He immediately beamed at her and blurted out

"Hi! I'm Morita Kadekawa"

Despite herself, she couldn't help but smile at his enthusiasm. "Hello, I'm Saeko Busujima" she appended with a polite bow.

"You don't strike me as a baseball fan Miss Busujima; have a boyfriend on the team?" Morita inquired with a suggestive eyebrow waggle as he offered her some popcorn.

"No, I'm afraid not. Is that why you're here?" She countered with a smile and an equally suggestive eyebrow waggle.

"Nope, sorry to disappoint" Morita answered with a laugh "I'm here with a friend to support Takashi. Actually, he's up to bat now"

Saeko followed Morita's pointing finger and her breath hitched in her throat. The boy at the plate was lanky, and about her height. Black hair poked from underneath his helmet, and when he stepped out of the batter's box to take practice swings she noted that his brown eyes were sharp and focused. However, none of these things were the cause of her blush and increased heartbeat.

_Thank God for baseball pants_ Saeko thought to herself as Takashi hit the ball with a resounding crack into center field. She, along with the rest of the crowd, celebrated when Takashi slid into third base. The crowd applauded because he tied the game, Saeko cheered because he bent over to fix his cleats.

Saeko was brought out of her increasingly creepy reverie by Morita holding his hand up for a high five and a pink-haired girl looking wryly at her. Saeko unenthusiasticly returned the high five, and Morita saw the two women looking at each other like strange cats and face palmed.

"Oops, my bad. I forgot to introduce you two. Miss Busujima, this vision of feminine beauty is Takagi Saya."

"Pleased to meet you Miss Takagi. Are you of any relation to Souichiro Takagi?" Saeko asked politely, while Saya shoved Morita out of the way so she could sit by Saeko.

"Yeah, he's my dad. Didn't your dad train him?" Saya asked as Saeko nodded in affirmation "That's pretty cool. Small world huh?"

"Why are you here Miss Takagi? Are you here with Morita?" Saeko asked as the crowd groaned in exasperation. Evidently; the batter after Takashi had struck out.

"Yeah, but we aren't together or anything." Saya haughtily stated while smirking at Morita's morose expression "I've been friends with Takashi since kindergarten, and since his dumbass girlfriend Rei never comes to his games I always go to cheer him on."

Saeko's heart sank upon learning that Takashi was taken, and then she became angry at the thought of someone taking him for granted.

"I mean, that doesn't mean I can't enjoy the scenery though" Saya shrugged while staring unabashedly at Takashi's luscious rump. "Takashi does have fantastic legs. And dat ass though. Mmm"

"WHAT THE HELL" Morita exclaimed as he sprang to his feet "Not cool! I don't want to hear that about my friend! GODDAMMIT YOU MADE ME LOOK! OUR FRIENDSHIP IS RUINED!" After Morita, thoroughly disturbed, tearfully fled the stadium the women were left alone.

"Ok, now that cockatiel-hair is gone I have something to discuss with you" Saya announced slyly "I noticed you were also enjoying the view. Do you like Takashi? Or at least his ass?"

Saeko blushed demurely, and Saya let out a triumphant "Aha! I knew it!"

Saeko was horribly embarrassed, and started to protest when Saya cut her off "Hey, sorry, I didn't mean to embarrass you. Let me explain: Takashi is a great guy. He is damnably dense, but I guess that's a normal thing for male protagonists. Anyway, I consider myself a pretty good judge of character because, you know, I'm a genius. I like you, and I want to help you net Takashi. Rei and Takashi are in a perpetually abysmal friendlationship, and Takashi's bestie Hisashi has had a crush on Rei since forever. See where this is going? Rei is going to tear their bromance apart, and I'm not about to let some Yoko-esque bitch hurt my friend. So, I am going to work on setting you up with Takashi. Ok? Everyone wins."

Saeko, both impressed and confused by Saya's conviction and general busybodiness, nodded her assent. She couldn't bear the thought of someone hurting Takashi, and by extension: his ass.

And so Saya began to destroy Takashi's relationship with Rei…for his own good of course.

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><p>Author's note:<p>

Hello! I hope you liked the first chapter of my fanfic. Aren't baseball/softball pants the best? To enumerate: I decided that I would post the first fourth of the story in a glob so you guys can have something to read while i write the rest of it.

Just as a heads up: Chapters 2-7 are meant to explain the specific details of the case Officer Miyamoto was investigating that lead to Rei's academic misfortune. In addition to this, I give the random hood-rat that Takashi shoots at the gas station a backstory. If you aren't into descriptive violence, or just don't give a shit, skip to chapter 8. That's when I jump back to the main cast. The serial killer, the officers, and the innocuous hood-rat are all relatively major characters and I obviously would prefer for you to read the chapters. However, I'm trying to accommodate those who don't want to read about meat-pinatas and pentagrams. If you're in this category, PM me and I'll send you a synopsis of the chapter content without the blood and guts.

That being said, I wholeheartedly thank you for clicking on my story. I sincerely hope you enjoy the rest of it.


	2. An Elegy for Eiji

I don't anything associated with Highschool Of The Dead, Haganai, Toradora, Ore no Imōto ga Konna ni Kawaii Wake ga Nai, or anything else I intentionally or unintentionally reference. Pease note that this story contains strong language, descriptive violence, and adult humor. Please proceed with caution and discretion.

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><p><strong>14 days before Z-Day<strong>

Caine Michalek stepped out of the Tokyo airport terminal into the July sunlight and grinned. It had been awhile since he had a job and he was looking forward to his stay in Japan. He brushed dark bangs out of his face, picked up his duffel bag, and jauntily started towards the bus schedule info station. After he obtained the correct bus number for Tooya City he sat down to wait at the kiosk for bus number seven.

The job he had was a relatively simple one: Kill one Mr. Aisaka, and meet up with a wannabe gangbanger named Otto and make a drop. Pretty simple stuff. However, during his rest at the bus stop he realized a logistical difficulty: Japanese people are tiny. Caine stood head and shoulders above the rest of the people at the kiosk, and they all looked at him with equal stares of terror and curiosity. One woman even went so far as to push her child behind her and shove her husband in-between her and Caine.

_Rude _Caine noted mentally and he could feel the muscles in his neck tensing as he struggled to quell the urge to jam his thumbs in the woman's eye sockets. Luckily, the bus finally arrived and he took a seat in the back. Wisely, the rest of the passengers crowded at the front and left a sizable gap in-between them and the unstable man.

_I wonder why I was hired for this job. Shido surely must have known I would stand out. There has to be a reason they chose me. Why fly me out here to kill one man and make a drop? It doesn't make sense. _

Caine was snapped out of his almost perceptive mental monologue by the bus screeching to a stop and the driver speaking incomprehensibly through the speaker system.

_I heard "Tooya" in there somewhere. I guess this is it._

After politely letting a blonde haired chap and a pigtailed girl disembark before him, Caine stepped off of the bus and chuckled at the collective sigh of relief from the other passengers. After glancing at the blonde duo, who were ascending an obscenely impractical zigzagging driveway, Caine set out with a spring in his step.

_All I have to do is find 310 Dengeki Street. Shouldn't be that hard. _

Sure enough, it only took a few minutes to find the house. Though, it did really stand out. It was the epitome of opulence: a three story western-style mansion, with beautiful ivory whitewashed walls, marble columns, and what appeared to be a two-car garage with living quarters on top. If that wasn't enough, there was a gate with a voice recognition box and a little station inside the wall alongside the driveway to either detain or welcome guests.

_I guess running a meth lab does have its perks _he thought to himself as he scaled the wall and jumped into a tree on the other side. Unfortunately for our sardonic hero, the trees in Japan are just as petite as the people and he crashed to the ground in an undignified heap of choler and cherry blossoms.

Immediately, the groundskeeper (whose name was Eiji) rushed over to see what had happened to his employer's prized cherry sapling. To his astonishment, Eiji discovered a very large Eastern-European man charging at him with cherry blossoms in his hair.

Caine, for his part, had abandoned all rational thought and ran at the man screaming "I CANNOT TELL A LIE FATHER, I DID CHOP DOWN YOUR CHERRY TREE"

The unfortunate groundskeeper didn't understand him of course, but he did have the presence of mind to try and run back to his station at the gate which housed his radio. Caine caught up with him when he was at the threshold of said station, and slammed Eiji's head against the doorframe. He then moved the poor man's mouth against the curb so his top teeth were biting down on the pavement. Caine stomped down on the crown of his head and relished in the delectable demolition of shattered teeth and broken bones.

Poor Eiji's face was covered in blood, tears, and saliva and he kept making pitiful mewling noises analogous to a baby being smothered as he heroically tried to crawl to his desk and grab the radio.

Caine sat down in the ex-groundkeeper's chair and watched the pernicious spectacle with a twinkle in his eye. However, he couldn't help but feel unsatisfied.

After some prurient pondering he picked up two pens from the desk. Holding them like chopsticks, he ripped out the man's eyes and ate them like grapes.

"That's what this needed! Some local flavor!" Caine laughed with a mouth full of hemoglobin.

After slamming Eiji's head in the door a couple of times to finish him off, Caine took a look at the security cameras and made sure there wasn't anyone coming to investigate the yelling and subsequent skull-smashing.

_Well, I guess if they were any others they would have seen or heard that._

He then raided Eiji's station and stuffed two radios, a rope, some ill-fitting gloves, and the makeshift chopsticks into his bag. Caine approached the house and after clambering through a second-story window he found himself in what appeared to be a guest room, or at least one that hadn't been used in a long time. The room had a dresser in a corner near the empty closet, a desk with a lamp, and a small bed with tigers printed on the pillowcases and sheets. He sat down on the bed and picked up a lone picture on the dresser

The photo was of a young girl with honey colored hair building a sandcastle on the beach and a brunette woman sitting under an umbrella looking on with a loving expression.

Caine quelled the bile rising in his throat and put the picture away. _They look so happy _he thought to himself, _Mommy never smiled at me like that…_

After returning the photo to its rightful place, he sat down to wait until the Aisaka family announced itself. After a brief period of counting the tigers on the pillowcases, the door on the floor below him creaked open and crotchety voices began bickering while dropping grocery bags and a haggard youthful voice answered tiredly

Caine watched from the window as the owner of the younger voice slipped outside to light a cigarette. He looked college age, sporting oily black hair and a pitiful excuse for a beard. Caine chuckled softly as the resident grandparents, upon discovering their grandson's unhealthy habit, proceeded to frisk him and grind his cigarettes into the dirt

It was at this precise moment that Mr. and Mrs. Aisaka pulled into the driveway. The two of them casually stepped out of the car like this was a regular occurrence, and separated the two warring parties. The wife placated her parents, and led them inside with a promise of tea. The father asserted the façade of lecturing his son until the front door was closed, and then sighed tiredly and slipped him a new pack of menthols.

The excitement over, Caine gingerly sat down on the floor to await nightfall. The grandparents hobbled their way up the stairs carrying their cups of tea, and Caine heard them sit down to watch the news. After a screaming match with her husband, Mrs. Aisaka set to work preparing dinner.

After what seemed like eons of anticipation, the depressingly dysfunctional Aisaka family bid each other goodnight. After hearing doors click shut, Caine determined it was finally time to begin. He stood silently, albeit rather awkwardly because his legs were asleep, and made his way out of his hiding place to search for bedrooms. While he was tip-toeing down the stairs, he took a look around the house.

_The inside is just as nice as the outside_ he thought to himself as he stopped to look at some of the pictures on the wall. Curiously enough, the honey haired girl and the brunette woman weren't in any of the pictures.

He stopped at the bottom of the stairs when he heard a noise. He peered around the corner and grinned in anticipation. His target was standing in the kitchen looking out a window and talking into a Bluetooth device. Caine adjusted his duffel bag and leaned against the wall while he politely waited for Mr. Aisaka to hang up.

From what he could make out in the dim lighting, Mr. Aisaka was a rather plain and drowsy looking man who looked to be in his late-forties with brown hair and a dull expression on his face. He was clad in an obviously expensive designer suit, and he somehow managed to make it look tacky.

He hung up the phone, sighed tiredly, grabbed a box from the fridge, and sat down at the table to eat. Unfortunately for him, that is when Caine finally struck. Caine strode into the kitchen, grabbed a knife from the expensive-looking cutlery set, pried open his victim's mouth, and cut out his tongue before he could sound the alarm. After tying him to the kitchen chair and chuckling at his pathetic attempts to form words, Caine left to find Mrs. Aisaka.

After pushing open the door to the master bedroom he heard her in the bathroom brushing her teeth. When she bent down to put the toothpaste in the bottom drawer Caine snuck up behind her and put her in a headlock. To her credit, she tried to struggle and temporarily blinded him with some toothpaste to the eye. Nevertheless, she soon slipped into unconsciousness and Caine dumped her body in front of Mr. Aisaka.

After irritably washing his eye, Caine then sought out the rest of the denizens of the Aisaka household. After trying a couple of different rooms, Caine was rewarded by soft snores emanating from a door directly under the stairs. Mr. Aisaka's in-laws were sleeping peacefully on their Tatami mats, and Caine crept over to them and gazed down on their sleeping forms

He grabbed an expensive-looking lamp from on top of their dresser drawer, and bashed the grandmother in the forehead with it. When he repeated the process with the grandfather, the vase shattered. To his chagrin, Mr. Aisaka's son did not come to investigate

After dragging the hopefully unconscious forms of the Aisaka in-laws in front of Mr. Aisaka, who had managed to tip over his chair and was worming his way towards the door, Caine exited the kitchen to seek out the youngest member of the Aisaka household

Caine once again ascended to the second level, and was met with a locked door. Naturally, after slipping on Eiji's gardening gloves, he knocked politely and awaited a response. When none came, he knocked louder. This time, he was treated to a panicked "I'm busy!"

After pounding on the door for a third time, the door opened and a shirtless, peeved, and conspicuously sweaty young man exited the room. His disgruntled demeanor quickly morphed to one of utter terror when he discovered that it wasn't a family member interrupting his backstroke roulette

Caine, after punching the unfortunate chap in the temple, politely cleared his browser history before carrying the unconscious boy downstairs and dumping him in front of his father

After righting his victim's chair and smiling at Mr. Aisaka's sordid sobs, Caine lifted Mrs. Aisaka by her hair and made an incision across her lower abdomen. Her guts spilt onto Mr. Aisaka's lap with a sound decidedly similar to dropping spaghetti on the floor, and the rest of the family soon suffered the same fate

"Did you know that the intestinal tract is six meters long Mr. Aisaka?" Caine asked playfully as he began to pull the intestines out of his victims and stretch them along the floor. When they were moved to their full length he transported Mr. Aisaka's chair under the grand chandelier in the foyer and set to work creating his art.

After looping the intestines over the elegant arches of the chandelier-like rope and flaying the skin on the backs of his victims, he arranged the unlucky family in a pentagram with Mr. Aisaka's disemboweled wife kneeling in front of him. To complete his sanguine showpiece; he pulled their shoulder blades out of socket like prying open a mussel, effectively creating wings. He then took the leftover skin and draped it over his victim's heads, binding and blinding them. Finally, he secured the arms of his victims so their arms were lifted to the heavens in adulation, their hands almost touching.

"Isn't this fitting way to die Mr. Aisaka? Surrounded by your angels?" Caine whispered as he secured the makeshift strings for his macabre meat puppets.

After retrieving a cup from the kitchen, he leaned in and looked Mr. Aisaka in the eye. "They have no mouths, and yet they must scream" Cain anointed as he brought Mr. Aisaka's wrists together and made his final incisions across the ulnar arteries, thighs, and throat "I have composed their lamentations, their bodies are my canvas, and the combination thereof is the apex form of art. You are my masterpiece"

After drinking Mr. Aisaka's blood; Caine added a few finishing touches to his current magnum opus, took a shower, prepared a meal, and departed.


	3. Officer Miyamoto and the Terrible, Ho

I don't anything associated with Highschool Of The Dead, Haganai, Toradora, Ore no Imōto ga Konna ni Kawaii Wake ga Nai, or anything else I intentionally or unintentionally reference. Please note that this story contains strong language, descriptive violence, and adult humor. Please proceed with caution and discretion.

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><p><strong>13 days before Z-day: Outside the Aisaka Homestead<strong>

Officer Miyamoto was an exceedingly unhappy man. He received a call at home from Daisuke Kousaka, his boss, in the wee hours of the morning to meet him at a house on Dengeki Street. Upon arriving, he saw that Chief Kousaka was waiting by the front gate. After parking by the curb, he exited the car and walked toward the entrance of the estate.

Daisuke Kousaka was an exorbitantly substantial and equally gruff man with a face that seemed to be carved from stone. As always, he had his coffee cup that his daughter made for him when she was in elementary school. Judging by the alertness of his eyes this wasn't his first cup.

Officer Miyamoto was confused about why he was called out here and the fact that there were no other officers, press, or medical personnel around. After the two men bowed to each other in greeting, Officer Miyamoto started to open his mouth to question why he was here at this ungodly hour. Before he could utter a syllable Chief Kousaka held up a hand and ordered him to "Go inside."

Officer Miyamoto looked at the older man quizzically, but decided not to question him after looking at his impassive face. As he walked through the gate, he was faced with his first horror: A man who was suspended from the ceiling by a rope tied around his arms. One arm was shoved down what Officer Miyamoto presumed was once a mouth and the other appendage was shoved up the poor soul's rectum. The man's torso was sliced open to reveal his hands clasped together in his chest cavity supported by rigor mortis. The legs were nowhere to be seen.

As Officer Miyamoto gazed up at the ghastly scene, he heard Chief Kousaka approach him. Without a word, the police chief placed a hand on Miyamoto's shoulder and guided the younger officer towards the mansion and away from the macabre piñata. As they drew closer to the house, the stench of decay and Officer Miyamoto's sense of dread increased simultaneously. As Chief Kousaka pushed open the front door, Officer Miyamoto was confronted with a scene he could not have imagined in his most vivid of nightmares. The Aisaka family was arranged in a pentagram with their hands bound and skin flayed.

The wife was the closest to the door, the top of the pentagram, and was on her knees with her shaved head and arms spread towards the heavens. The centerpiece was the husband, wearing a crown of toe-bones woven together with his wife's hair. All of them were secured by their own intestines.

"I've called Tajima, and he will make an official report" Chief Kousaka rumbled softly, "I wanted you to see this first. This is the work of a madman. A troglodyte that could be terrorizing MY district. I can't let the press have a hold of this. There would be widespread fear, panic, chaos. "

Officer Kousaka grabbed his shoulders and turned him so they were face-to-face. "I want you to investigate this. You are a capable officer, and I consider you a good friend. I just called the Criminal Investigation Bureau before you arrived, and they should take over the case once they see this. But I think someone hired this monster, and I want you to find out whom."

Officer Miyamoto steeled himself and saluted "Yes sir, I'm on it. But… I have a question: what happened to the guy's legs?"

Chief Daisuke visibly paled and led Officer Miyamoto around the side of the house and pointed through the kitchen window. What he saw was some used pans in the sink; ingredients tossed carelessly across the kitchen, and a smattering of bones, tendons, and flayed meat on a cutting platter.

"Oh… oh God… "Officer Miyamoto stammered out "He didn't."

"He did." Chief Kousaka explained stoically "We're dealing with a cannibal"


	4. The Art Critic

I don't anything associated with Highschool Of The Dead, Haganai, Toradora, Ore no Imōto ga Konna ni Kawaii Wake ga Nai, or anything else I intentionally or unintentionally reference. Please note that this story contains strong language, descriptive violence, and adult humor. Please proceed with caution and discretion.

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><p><strong>12 Days before Z-Day: Fujimi Police Station<strong>

"Ok, so this guy thinks our Aisaka-killer is the same one that chopped up those girls in London?"

"Yes Officer Miyamoto, that is correct" Chief Kousaka answered blandly while sipping his fourth cup of coffee "My first choice was an American who was working under Crawford that was a whiz at psychoanalyzing freaks. Unfortunately, he evidently snapped and started killing people himself. He's in federal custody now. The fellow I called in to help is technically retired but his resume was impeccable. He's been chasing the Aisaka-killer all over the globe."

"Damn… that's messed up. Talk about taking your work home with you" Officer Miyamoto responded absently while tacking the photos from the crime scene onto a board. "And speaking of America, have you heard any more about the virus that's sweeping across the nation? I heard a bunch of reports about it a couple days ago but the news isn't talking about it anymore."

"No I haven't, and that's unfortunate for them" Chief Kousaka mumbled while typing on his phone "They just got over the Ebola scare too. More importantly, our psychoanalyst has just touched down. I told him we'd pick him up and brief him here."

After getting into Officer Miyamoto's car and skillfully weaving through traffic they parked near the terminal exit at the Tokyo airport and Chief Daisuke set off to find their passenger. After ten minutes of boredom Officer Miyamoto looked up from his probably never to be completed Sudoku and got his first look at the man that was supposed to be helping them catch a monster.

He was a diminutive and rangy man, clad in tweed and ill-matching slacks with messy brown hair and wild eyes. He was chatting amiably with Chief Daisuke who was trying his damnedest to be friendly and failing miserably. Miyamoto climbed out of the car and walked towards the pair, and after reaching them he bowed politely and announced "Hello Mr. Wingate, I welcome you to Japan. My name is Tadashi Miyamoto. I look forward to working with you"

Mr. Wingate extended his hand out of instinct, quickly retracted it, and bowed awkwardly "Um… Yes. Thank you. I'm Walter Wingate. Hi. Sorry about my shoddy Japanese, it's been a while since I've been here"

"Actually, it's pretty amazing" Tadashi answered with a smile "Far better than my English. Anyway, let's get you to the station."

Mr. Wingate visibly relaxed and returned the smile "Yes, lets. Please call me Walter, and thank you for picking me up"

The ride to Fujimi station was a pleasant one. Chief Daisuke called and made sure that the reservations at the hotel Mr. Wingate was staying at were correct while Officer Miyamoto asked questions about England.

Upon arriving, they took Walter to the briefing room where the photos of the crime scene were attached to the board. Upon obtaining permission, Walter made a beeline for the board and stood making "Mmmhhmmm-ing"noises.

"Ah… yes. This looks like his work" Mr. Wingate said reverently while peering at the photos "I'm assuming there was no weapon found? No evidence?"

"No, there wasn't a weapon" Chief Daisuke rumbled while claiming his seat "I'm embarrassed to say that the family could have been left for days if it wasn't for a neighbor calling it in."

"How can you be sure it's the same guy from the London killings? And who is 'he'? Officer Miyamoto asked while pouring Mr. Wingate a cup of coffee

Walter nodded in thanks and took a sip of the coffee before responding "I'm assuming you men were at the crime scene? Were either the legs or lungs missing from one of the victims?"

The two officers shared a look and Officer Miyamoto replied "Yes, the legs were missing from one of the victims. Why?"

"Then the legs were skinned, plaited, and boiled correct?" Mr. Wingate replied while perusing the photo of poor Eiji the unfortunate groundskeeper

"Yes they were. What's your point? We're obviously dealing with an insane psychopath" Chief Daisuke grumbled while stirring his fifth cup of coffee.

"Because Chief Daisuke, the thigh meat is mostly muscle and has to be broiled and made into stew. Otherwise, it would be too tough and stringy to chew. This implies culinary knowledge learned from experience which proves that that our killer has consumed enough human meat to know which parts should be prepared a certain way" Walter answered listlessly as he took a seat opposite the two officers "This murder was not the work of a thug, a hitman, or a gangbanger. This was the work of an artist. Someone who does his job happily, and with passion. And no, this man is not insane. He is aware of his actions, and the consequences of those actions."

"However, this man does not kill senselessly. Like the Shrike, he kills and displays his enemy's corpse for the world to see. This is his message, his canvas, his design. I have seen him kill before, and with your help I hope to make sure he doesn't kill again."

"What do we do?" Tadashi haltingly asked "We don't have any leads."

"The first thing we have to figure out is why the late Mr. Aisaka was targeted" Walter replied while pouring himself another cup of coffee "And I'm dreadfully sorry for hogging all the caffeine, jet lag is rearing its ugly head."

"I've been researching that" Chief Daisuke said admiringly, clearly impressed with the man's perception "I've requested his records, and should receive them shortly. In the meantime, you should get checked in to your hotel."

"I will" Walter said appreciatively "My son and nephew should be arriving on the next flight, so I'll wait for them at the airport. I'll see you gentlemen upon the morrow."

After accepting Officer Miyamoto's offer to drop him off, Walter climbed into the passenger seat and they set off. After a couple of minutes, Walter broke the silence.

"Do you have kids Mr. Miyamoto?" Walter inquired

"I do. A daughter. Her name is Rei." Offer Miyamoto replied "Having this maniac on the loose makes me want to place a tracker on her. But she's got good friends, and I trust them to take care of her. So that helps a little bit."

"I'm glad" Walter said as they parked and after retrieving his luggage from the back seat he leaned in the car window "I now this warning is unnecessary but I'll say it regardless: please be careful. You and the Chief seem like good people, and I don't want you or your loved ones to be hurt. Animals are most dangerous when they are cornered, and humans are the most fearsome and unpredictable animals of them all"


	5. The President's Robe is Breezy

I don't anything associated with Highschool Of The Dead, Haganai, Toradora, Ore no Imōto ga Konna ni Kawaii Wake ga Nai, or anything else I intentionally or unintentionally reference. Please note that this story contains strong language, descriptive violence, and adult humor. Please proceed with caution and discretion.

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><p><strong>11 days before Z-day: Fujimi Police Station<strong>

"So, who are we going to interview?" Mr. Wingate inquired as he sipped his coffee and squinted in the morning sunlight

"The neighbor that called in the report" Officer Miyamoto answered absently while repeatedly pressing the button by the voice recognition box

After a couple of moments, a stately female voice responded from the voice box "Hello, You've reached the Kashiwazaki estate. This is Stella speaking. How may I help you?"

"Hello Stella, this is the Fujimi police. Is Mr. Kashiwazaki at home? We would like to ask him a couple of questions please"

"I have reminded him countless times to wear underwear under his robe…" the female voice responded with a sigh "I'll buzz you in"

The gate opened, and officer Miyamoto drove up the incredibly curvy driveway and parked near the front causeway.

"Well, I hope this gent is clothed" Walter smiled "And what was with that driveway? It was like a damn marble maze"

"Hey, don't be rude Mr. Wingate" Tadashi responded with mock severity "This guy's first name is Pegasus. He has it tough enough"

"Well, I'm sure bathing in his money helps" Mr. Wingate replied while gazing up at the mansion

Officer Miyamoto knocked on the door, and an attractive blonde-haired young woman in a steward outfit answered the door with a classy bow

"You must be Stella" Officer Miyamoto announced amicably as he and Walter returned the polite bow "I'm Miyamoto Tadashi and this is my associate Walter Wingate. We would like to ask Mr. Kashiwazaki a couple of questions if he is available"

"Please, follow me to the sitting room" Stella answered expressionlessly while gesturing inside the house

She led them to a parlor, outfitted with western-style carpet and a pair of couches tucked cozily away next to a gorgeous and utterly unnecessary fireplace.

"I'll fetch the chairman for you" Stella bowed, the very essence of professionalism "Would either of you care for some tea or coffee?"

"Yes please. Tea would be marvelous" Walter smiled as Tadashi nodded in thanks

Stella sauntered out of the room, and the two men were left to twiddle their thumbs.

"So…do we still call her a butler?" Walter asked softly "Is there a feminine form of the word? A butette perhaps?"

Tadashi shrugged and smiled faintly "I haven't the slightest clue. Try asking her; see how it goes for you"

"I think not" Walter shuddered "Her eyes are scary"

Their debate about proper terminology was interrupted by Pegasus Kashiwazaki, who was practically dragged into the room by Stella. The two officers rose from their seats and bowed politely.

"Hello sir, my name is Miyamoto Tadashi and this is Walter Wingate. We would like to ask you a couple of questions if you wouldn't mind"

Pegasus returned the bow and sat down opposite the two men. After Stella nudged him, he adjusted his robe and laughed nervously "Of course. How can I help you gentlemen? Would you like some tea?"

At that moment, Stella entered carrying a platter with tea and cookies on it and he opened and closed his mouth like a fish "Guh…er…I guess Stella already asked that. Anyway, why did you need me?"

"We would like to ask you some questions about the late Mr. Aisaka" Tadashi explained after thanking Stella for the tea

"There's no need to be nervous Mr. Kashiwazaki, we just need any information you can provide" Walter added after taking a sip of tea "And thank you. The tea is superb"

"Oh…I didn't know him all that well. We were acquaintances at best" Pegasus faltered while nibbling on a teacake

"Why did you call the police?" Walter inquired after setting his cup down on the table and pulling out a notepad

"I noticed his car was still in the driveway when I went for my morning jog, and I thought he might have been home sick. I called his house when I returned home to ask if he needed anything, but he didn't pick up. I called again two hours later, but still no answer. I didn't think much of the incident until I went out running the next morning and his car was still in the driveway. I called his house phone again, and I still didn't get an answer. I thought that something might be wrong, and I called the police. That's all"

After he finished his explanation, Pegasus took a deep breath and locked eyes with Officer Miyamoto "I'm guessing that since you are investigating him, you suspect foul play? Are you allowed to tell me what happened to him? What happened to his family? Are my daughters in danger?"

The two officers shared a look, and Officer Miyamoto responded to Pegasus with the standard "We are not at liberty to discuss the details of this ongoing investigation" and Mr. Kashiwazaki scoffed at him

"Are you serious? You come into my house to ask me questions about my dead neighbor, and you won't even tell me why?" Pegasus seethed quietly while shooting daggers at the officers "My daughter and my hopefully future son-in-law are upstairs at this very moment completely oblivious to the fact that someone right next door was likely murdered. How am I supposed to let Stella go out and buy groceries alone? How can I guarantee the safety of my students?"

"Mr. Kashiwazaki please calm down. This is the sort of panic we were trying to avoid" Walter reasoned, trying to placate the enraged chairman "We have the situation well in hand. Can we get back to the questioning please?"

"Was he murdered?" Pegasus asked stonily

"We can't tell you the details, but yes. He was" Officer Miyamoto responded warily "We want to know why. He was obviously affluent; do you know how he achieved his wealth?"

"No, I don't. We often chatted about stocks though. He owned a huge share in AFC Japan"

"That's a medical research conglomerate isn't it?" Officer Miyamoto inquired; glad the conversation was back on track

"Yes it is. They have a research facility right next to the Tooya Hospital actually" Pegasus responded, smiling as he heard Sena laugh upstairs

"Did Mr. Aisaka have anyone that would want to harm him? Any gambling problems? Drinking problems?" Walter inquired while jotting down the information

"If he did, I didn't know" Pegasus responded as he shook his head "I wasn't very fond of his son, but from what I knew he was a good man"

"Well, thank you for your time Mr. Kashiwazaki" Walter nodded gratefully as he and Tadashi stood and bowed "And for being a gracious host"

"I'm sorry I couldn't be more helpful" Pegasus apologized as he nodded to them and led the officers to the door

"Sir…I sincerely apologize for not being able to tell you the details of Mr. Aisaka's death. But frankly: you are better off not knowing" Officer Miyamoto confided to the Chairman as he opened his car door "We don't have any reason to believe that you or your loved ones are in any danger, but to be safe please restrict your nighttime outings and keep your doors and windows locked. Thank you again for your time"

The president nodded and waved as the officers drove off. As soon as they were out of sight, Pegasus sprinted around the house boarding up windows and yelling about fortifying the homestead.


	6. Priorities

I don't anything associated with Highschool Of The Dead, Haganai, Toradora, Ore no Imōto ga Konna ni Kawaii Wake ga Nai, or anything else I intentionally or unintentionally reference. Please note that this story contains strong language, descriptive violence, and adult humor. Please proceed with caution and discretion.

* * *

><p><strong>9 days before Z-day: A seedy Ramen shop <strong>

"So, you want me to find out the name of the officer that's been snooping around?" Otto queried while gazing unashamedly out the window at the passing asses and the women subsequently attached to said asses.

"Indeed" the silky voice of Ichirou Shido responded "The one in charge of the Aisaka case. Any form of identification you can get will be sufficient."

"Sure, no problem" Otto asserted around a mouthful of Ramen

"…You don't have any questions?" A bewildered Ichirou Shido responded "You don't need any physical descriptions? Which police unit the officer is in?"

"Sir, I will have you know I'm a consummate professional" Otto answered boisterously while drooling at a woman that had bent over to fix her high-heel "You have nothing to worry about"

"Well, then it seems my confidence was well placed. Good luck. You'll receive a bonus after making the drop with the European"

After hanging up, Otto immediately used his smartphone to Google which officers in the Tooya area had recently been promoted

_Ok, that narrows it down to the Fujimi Station_ Otto mentally noted as he perused three articles praising the prowess of the Fujimi unit _I love being hired by old people, it's like the senile fuckers have never heard of the internet_

After making a note and closing his tabs, he dialed his brother's cellphone

"Hey buddy, how would you like to earn ten dollars?"

* * *

><p><strong>At the Fujimi Police Station<strong>

"So, what do we have so far?" Chief Daisuke rumbled as he plopped down in his chair and spun to face the board. Walter was mumbling to himself and using an unnecessary amount of pushpins to secure his notes, observations, and case data onto it.

"We have Tajima's report, which is unsurprisingly gruesome" Officer Miyamoto replied while leaning against his desk "Tajima guessed that the disemboweled victims lived for a couple minutes after the initial incision. Needless to say, this increased Mr. Aisaka's heartrate and prevented his blood from clotting. He drained himself, and probably died last"

"We also have the testimony of Mr. Kashiwazaki, the data you gathered from the science-place-thing and Walter's guesswork about the Aisaka Killer's pattern"

"Well, you make it sound unnecessarily bleak" Walter admonished as he stepped away from the board "There is some good news"

"Based on the killer's previous extirpations, he does have a traceable pattern" Walter asserted "The killer typically creates some sort of blood-art, like the London Liquidation or the Aisaka Pentagram"

"After completing his work he usually takes a piece of his victims for himself and vanishes without a trace" Walter continued "However, he does occasionally indulge in some good old-fashioned hooker mutilation"

"What's your point?" Officer Miyamoto interjected "We already know he's a psychopath"

"My point is that this secondary slaughter might be our chance to nail this piece of shit" Walter responded wild-eyed. He dragged Officer Miyamoto to the board and pointed at the gruesome photographs of unfortunate ladies of the night

"Don't you see the pattern?" Walter inquired as he sipped his sixth cup of coffee

"…These photos were all taken in hotels" Tadashi answered after pondering for a couple of moments "Shitty hotels specifically"

"Indubitably!" Walter cheered "All of these photos were taken within five days of the initial chef d'oeuvre"

"So…we just need to check the guest books of the local hotels?" Chief Daisuke queried as he relieved a decidedly twitchy Walter of his caffeine "And please keep the cannibalism jokes to a minimum. They're in bad taste"

"Just look for non-Japanese names" Walter nodded "And well done Chief! I see what you did there"

Chief Daisuke laughed (for him, it was just blowing more air out of his nostrils than usual), and started the lengthy process of booting up his pc and putting in his twenty-two character password

_Chef d'oeuvre actually has nothing to do with food _Tadashi thought to himself _but since that's the Chief's second joke ever I'll let it slide_

His considerate mental musing was interrupted by Tajima knocking on the door and announcing that "There's some kid out here that wants to talk to the chief"

"Miyamoto, you go take care of that" Daisuke waved absently while he and Walter pored over the hotel websites

"Yes sir" Tadashi saluted and met Tajima in the detaining area at the entrance of the station. He was standing next to a small child who was carrying a notepad and pen, and nodded gratefully at Officer Miyamoto before returning to his desk.

"Hello, how can I help you?" Officer Miyamoto greeted as the child bowed politely to him

"Hello sir, I was wondering if you could answer some questions for me" The child answered "I'm working on a project. The assignment is to interview your hero, so I chose the police department"

"That's very admirable" Tadashi praised "I'm glad to help"

"Great!" The child beamed "Now, what is your name and rank?..."

* * *

><p><strong>10 minutes later, outside of the Fujimi Police Station<strong>

Otto watched from his painfully conspicuous automobile as his little brother exited the station, bowed politely to a kind-looking officer, and crossed the street towards his car

"You got it?" Otto demanded as his younger sibling swept beer cans and porn mags off of the passenger seat so he could sit down "And are you sure it's the right guy?"

"Yeah, I got it. And I'm sure. I asked to speak to the guy in charge and he's the one they brought to talk to me" The younger sibling responded tiredly "Can we get ice-cream now?"

"Yes we can" Otto grinned "You earned it. I just have to make a call first"

He pressed redial, and waited for his employer to pick up. Eventually, he did and Shido's oily voice inquired

"Is the job complete?"

"Yes it is" Otto affirmed while reading off the information that his brother gathered "His name is Tadashi Miyamoto. He's a detective for the Fujimi police department, and he has a daughter enrolled at Fujimi academy"

"Excellent!" His employer praised "Targeting an officer directly would be foolish, so we are going to ruin the most precious thing his daughter has"

"Her virginity?" Otto asked hopefully

"No, something greater"

"Her life?" Otto inquired incredulously

"No, something even more precious"

"Ok, I give up" Otto sighed "What are we going to ruin?"

"The very paradigm of her existence. Her entire being. The sole reason she continues living! We are going to ruin…her GPA!"

Shido began the standard maniacal laughter, and after looking at his brother and shrugging Otto joined him. He then hung up, started his car, and took his accomplice for some well-deserved cookie-dough ice cream.


	7. Extreme Makeover: Caine Edition

I don't anything associated with Highschool Of The Dead, Haganai, Toradora, Ore no Imōto ga Konna ni Kawaii Wake ga Nai, or anything else I intentionally or unintentionally reference. Pease note that this story contains strong language, descriptive violence, and adult humor. Please proceed with caution and discretion.

* * *

><p><strong>7 Days Before Z-day: Fujimi Station<strong>

"So, why isn't Officer Miyamoto going with us?" Walter inquired as he hopped into the passenger seat of the Humvee

"He…had to quit the case" Chief Daisuke grunted as he adjusted the seat so the steering wheel wasn't pressed against his torso "Tajima, Rika, thank you for going along with us. I hope this won't be eventful but…you know…just in case"

"It's no problem at all" Rika Minami replied amicably as she placed her .38 special on her lap

"What happened with Miyamoto?" Tajima responded, worry etched into his features "Is he ok?"

"His family was targeted" Daisuke rumbled as he pulled out of the station "His daughter is going to have to repeat the grade"

"Oh shit" Tajima whistled "Think the teacher was involved?"

"Definitely" Rika replied "She goes to the academy right? I bet it was Shido. My girlfriend complains about him all the time"

"Wait, as in Ichirou Shido?" Daisuke queried

"Yes, it's his son" Rika clarified

"Pretty fuckin' suspicious" Tajima muttered "I think we have our culprit"

"Maybe, but we'd need proof first" Rika deadpanned "You forgot about that teensy-weensy detail"

Their excogitation was interrupted by Chief Daisuke parking outside of a kudzu-ridden excuse for a building.

"The 'Takei Hotel' huh?" Tajima read as Walter hesitantly poked the rusty sign, which promptly fell apart

"If I was to murder a hooker, this is where I'd do it" Rika admitted, and then laughed when Chief Daisuke shot her a look

"Let's just get this done" The Chief sighed as he opened the door for his team. The three of them filed in after him, and Daisuke walked towards the front desk and irritably rang the bell when the receptionist didn't immediately respond to his presence

The aforementioned apathetic asinine amanuensis assessed the admirable awe-inspiring autocratic authoritarians assembled adjacent to him, and after ascertaining the avocations of those assembled he abruptly and agilely acquired an accommodating appearance and asked "How can I assist you?"

"Did a 'John Johnson' check into this hotel?" Chief Daisuke inquired with as much civility as he could muster

After checking a (hopefully) coffee stained guestbook, the receptionist confirmed that a 'John Johnson' had indeed decided to rest his weary head at the exquisite third-rate establishment a mere two days ago.

"He's in room 9-H" The clerk clarified with a lazy wave "Go out the door and up the stairs on your left. It's the room with the 'H' on it"

After nearly bursting a blood vessel, the Chief nodded politely and gestured for his squad mates to follow suit. The foursome exited the loathsome lobby and ascended the decidedly unstable steps to the second floor. They moved to the end of the balcony, and stood in front of room 'H'

"Hey…what's with the mutts?" Tajima asked in an unsteady voice as he pointed to his left

There was a veritable multitude of alley dogs congregated in the alley adjacent to them staring expectantly at the open window adjoined to the room they were about to enter

"Everyone, weapons hot" Chief Daisuke commanded, and they all drew their weapons (revolvers, and Walter's trusty Taser respectively).

Chief Daisuke knocked on the door, and demanded that anyone inside announce themselves. After a couple of moments, Walter repeated the caveat in English.

Chief Daisuke nodded to Tajima, and the latter kicked in the door and expertly combed the room. Immediately after the breach, Chief Daisuke was met with a familiar smell. He visibly paled as Tajima hastily exited the room and joined a heaving Rika at the railing.

Walter was standing just inside the threshold to the room, weeping into his shirtsleeve and repeating "I was too late. I was too late. I was too late"

Chief Daisuke steeled himself, clamped his nose, and gently moved Walter out of the way so he could survey the damage. After doing so, he was struck by a sight that would forever haunt his memory.

The inside of the hotel was as shoddy as the rest of the dwelling. In fact, Caine's work was a monumental enhancement to the previously drab dormitory. The new crimson splatter across the north wall was a vast improvement over the crusty beige paint of the rest of the interior. To complement the aesthetic amelioration of blood-soaked carpets, the ambiance was augmented by a bathtub full of organs moistened by urine and topped with the post-digestive remains of other organs.

However, the pièce de résistance of Caine's redecorating was formed from the remains of the cleaning crew. The two torsos were laid anus-to-anus on the bed, attached by a bed-sheet woven through their bodies and protruding from their neck-holes. The legs were secured by a combination of electrical wiring and their own hair and lashed together to form a tail.

The four arms were jabbed into the ribcage of the torso closest to the door, and stood at forty-five degree angles with their hands broken to form a 'V' shape. The spines of the once-humans were twisted together to form a helix, and protruded from the nape of the torso held erect by rigor mortis. Their eyes and mouth were open, and the tail-end of their spinal cord protruded from their mouths. This was duct-taped together to form a makeshift beak.

"Oh my God…" Chief Daisuke whispered as he fell to his knees "He left us an origami crane…"

* * *

><p>Author's note: To save you a trip to the thesaurus, an amanuensis is just a fancy term for assistant or clerk. I thought it was a neat word, so I decided to use an assuredly asinine amount of alliteration to accentuate the appellation.<p> 


	8. Classic Schmosby

I don't anything associated with Highschool Of The Dead, Haganai, Toradora, Ore no Imōto ga Konna ni Kawaii Wake ga Nai, or anything else I intentionally or unintentionally reference. Pease note that this story contains strong language, descriptive violence, and adult humor. Please proceed with caution and discretion.

* * *

><p><strong>7 Days before Z-Day: Fujimi Academy<strong>

"So…what happened with Rei?" Takashi whispered "She's always been a straight-A student"

"I'm sure she'll tell you in due time" Hisashi replied softly as he closed his locker "Just give her some space, and for the love of God don't let Morita or Saya embarrass her. Rei's had a tough week"

Takashi nodded solemnly, and Hisashi took his leave. Takashi then crossed the hall and explained the situation to Saya and Morita. Saya grimaced, and Morita shrugged and promptly turned his attention to Yukki Miku's ass as she swayed by.

After punching Morita in the shoulder, Saya returned her attention to a smirking Takashi and pointed to the classroom

"You don't find it odd that he knows what's wrong with Rei but you don't?" Saya argued

"Nah, not really" Takashi shrugged lazily "Rei will tell me what's wrong whenever she's ready. Hisashi said so. I'll see you guys in there."

"I don't understand how someone could be so dense" Saya sighed as Takashi entered the classroom and sat down next to Rei (who smiled at him politely and then turned her gaze forward)

"A shoulder to cry on becomes a dick to ride on" Morita quoted sagely

"Needlessly vulgar…but fairly accurate" Saya begrudgingly agreed as she handed her books to Morita "Let's go my loyal pack mule. Mush."

"I can see you enjoying whips" Morita smirked, and then winced as an embarrassed Saya stomped his toes

After a sordid attempt at a power struggle, which Saya squashed with relative ease, the duo entered the classroom just in time for the bell to ring.

After a history lesson, which was made relatively eventful by Morita standing up and screaming "NO ONE EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!" and being consequently banished to the nurse's office, lunch hour rolled around

Saya volunteered to drop off Morita's lunch, and since Rei (and by extension Hisashi) was giving him the cold shoulder, Takashi was left to eat lunch alone. After a couple minutes of awkwardness, his monotonous munching was interrupted by someone poking him in the shoulder. Takashi turned around to see an overweight bespectacled gent looking at him nervously

"Er…uh…hello" The diminutive chap stuttered out "I'm Hirano Kohta. I sit diagonal to you. Uh…I usually eat lunch alone. I noticed you were eating alone so…I thought we could eat together and be less alone?"

"Yeah man, sounds good. I'm Komuro Takashi" He grinned while offering the other boy a chair

"Oh thank God" Kohta sighed in relief as he sat down and pulled out his lunch "I'm so sorry for the awkward phrasing. I don't words good"

"I know the feeling" Takashi nodded in understanding "I always freak out when the teacher asks me to read out loud. Does that happen to you too?"

"Yep, my hands get all sweaty and I stutter like a dumbass" Kohta garbled back around a mouthful of fries

"Me too" Takashi concurred "And why do we have to stand? It makes the experience even more unpleasant"

"I agree" Kohta nodded as he nommed his second cheeseburger

After a few seconds of scarfing, Takashi inquired "You seem like an okay guy, Hirano. How come you never talked to me before now?"

"Well…uh..." Kohta stuttered "It seemed like you already had a clique. I didn't want to intrude"

"The fuck's a clique?" Takashi inquired after putting the lid on his empty bento box and shoving it under his seat

"Uh…you already seemed like you had a set group of friends" Kohta clarified "It's really hard to just walk up to someone and talk to them, especially a group of people. Your group is… extra terrifying"

"What? How?" Takashi asked with a bewildered expression on his face

"Promise you won't get mad?" Kohta inquired sheepishly

"Yeah, sure dude" Takashi affirmed "Why?"

"Well, you always have your brow furrowed like you're plotting a murder" Kohta began with a weak grin "Igou always looks like a stern father. Kadekawa's a delinquent. Miss Miyamoto seems pleasant, but I have trouble talking to women in general and I believe it is nigh on impossible to hold a conversation with a woman that could kill someone with a stick. Saya scares me the most of all because she can boss around the rest of you no problem. That's not natural"

Takashi stared at Hirano for a couple of seconds, brow characteristically furrowed, and Kohta shifted uncomfortably and nearly jumped out of his chair when Takashi began to howl with laughter

The rest of the class looked at him like he had lost his marbles, and when Takashi eventually recovered he grinned at Kohta and gave him a thumbs up

"That…that was funny" Takashi wheezed out as Kohta hesitantly returned the smile "You nailed it. If it's any consolation, I think everyone's a little scared of Saya"

The two of them joked and laughed together for a couple of minutes before the teacher announced that lunch was over. Kohta walked back to his seat feeling like a million bucks. He had made his first friend.

* * *

><p><strong>8:03 P.M: Principal's office<strong>

"Mr. Komuro" the principal tersely interjected "We've been here three hours. Please skip to the incident involving Mr. Tsonuda and Mr. Kurokami"

"Oh shi…crap" Takashi sputtered "I'm sorry sir, you said to start from the beginning and I didn't exactly know where the beginning was and…"

"Mr. Komuro, I am losing my patience. Tell me what happened NOW"

"Oh. Uh…Tsonuda and Kurokami had Hirano pushed against a locker and were beating the sh…scat…out of him and I tried to step in. Then I felt a blinding pain on the left side of my head and I fell face-first next to Hirano. The last thing I remember is Miss Busujima swooping in and swinging her practice sword at them"

"Mmmhmm" The principal responded "According to Miss Mariwaka's report your injury matches your story. Miss Busujima's and Mr. Hirano's respective accounts also back yours up"

Takashi's face brightened, and then fell as the principal continued "However; the testimonies of Kurokami, Tsonuda, and Mr. Shido insist that you were the instigator"

"That's a lie!" Takashi exploded, and was swiftly silenced by the principal slamming his fist on his desk

"Enough! Mr. Komuro, the testimony of a teacher carries more weight and I have to follow school protocol. Therefore, I am suspending you for one week. Any work missed will be made up over summer break, and if you step foot on school grounds the consequence will be expulsion. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes sir"


	9. You've Got A Friend In Me

I don't anything associated with Highschool Of The Dead, Haganai, Toradora, Ore no Imōto ga Konna ni Kawaii Wake ga Nai, or anything else I intentionally or unintentionally reference. Pease note that this story contains strong language, descriptive violence, and adult humor. Please proceed with caution and discretion.

* * *

><p><strong>5 days before Z-day: Komuro household<strong>

"Hello?"

"Why weren't you at school today? Are you sick? What's wrong?"

Takashi Komuro shifted uncomfortably before answering "Hi Saya. I'm not sick or anything but…well…I actually won't be back for a week"

"What. Did. You. Do?"

"Well…uh…I kind of got suspended" Takashi answered slowly and held his phone away from his ear, expecting a high-octave verbal explosion

After a couple seconds of silence, he looked at his phone in confusion and replied "Saya? Did you hear me?"

"I'm coming over" was the only response before the soft click of the call disconnecting

Takashi was still looking at his phone when the doorbell rang. He opened it to find Morita grinning at him and holding an overnight bag.

"What the hell are you doing?" Takashi inquired as Morita shrugged past him and set to work raiding his fridge.

"You got suspended dude" Morita mumbled around a mouthful of noodles after chugging some milk "I'm here to support you in your hour of need"

"Firstly: don't drink out of the carton" Takashi snapped as he wrenched the milk jug away from Morita's grasp "Secondly: I'm perfectly fine. I think you were just hungry"

"Hey now, no need to be rude" Morita responded in mock offense while resting his feet on the table "Friends look out for each other"

After slapping Morita's feet off of the table, Takashi smiled slightly before sitting down with him and helping him devour the leftover noodles.

"In that case, care for some FIFA?" Takashi inquired after cleaning up "Oh, and by the way, Saya is coming over"

"I'll prepare my ears" Morita responded wryly as he followed Takashi upstairs

After turning on the game console, Takashi took the chair next to Morita and after choosing their teams (Greece and Sweden respectively) they set to play their match.

Saya arrived just after halftime, and after grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge she strode upstairs just in time to see Morita spring up from his chair and begin doing the "Ibrahimobot" while screaming "ALL HAIL ZLATAN!"

Saya smiled at the exchange, then tipped Takashi's chair over and claimed it for herself

"What the hell Saya?" Takashi halfheartedly complained "There's no need to add physical trauma to my emotional distress!"

"Firstly, I'm wearing a skirt. You should have been a gentleman and offered me the chair in the first place" Saya responded sassily while adjusting said skirt "Secondly; it's your own fault for picking Greece. But if you believe really hard and wish with all your might, Germany will show up to bail you out"

"Score one for Saya" Morita whistled as Takashi hung his head in shame and moved to sit on the bed

"Morita, since you're winning 3-0 I'd like to throw in the towel" Takashi spoke up while pointing dramatically at Saya "Would you help me in defeating this cotton-candy haired wench?"

"I would indeed" Morita concurred while exiting to the main menu "Does the wench know how to play?"

"If you call me a wench one more time I'll slap the shit out of you" Saya growled while snatching a controller from the bedside table "And no, I haven't played FIFA before"

"Oh, well it's pretty easy" Takashi began "You just press 'X' to pass, and 'O' to shoot, and…"

"Just let me see the button list" Saya spoke determinedly, cutting his explanation short

"Sure" Morita added while sharing a grin with Takashi "We'll go easy on you since women have trouble with electronics"

After Team Takashi chose Italy and Saya, like every FIFA noob ever, chose Spain they began their game. Saya, to the boys chagrin, took a few minutes to learn the control scheme and after she had memorized it the match began in earnest.

Despite their surprisingly impressive teamwork, the boys soon found themselves facing a 6-0 deficit. Saya had a 100% passing rate, and was the pinnacle of efficiency as she mathematically picked apart their defense again and again. She accentuated this already devastating score by holding down LB and pressing Triangle repeatedly, making her players do the aptly named 'Bottom Dance' after every goal. As every FIFA player knows, this is a top-tier insult. And so, after watching a team of Spaniards aggressively twerk at them for the seventh time, Takashi and Morita admitted defeat.

"Sorry, what was that about women and technology?" Saya inquired while the men grumbled and picked out another game. They responded with simultaneous middle fingers and sat back down as the screen for Black Ops II opened and Takashi selected the 'Zombies' option.

"Let's be on a team this time" Takashi suggested democratically "Saya, you remember the controls?"

"Yes, and my back is still sore from carrying the team the last time we played" She responded airily while their characters spawned in the bus station. They slayed the undead menace in relative silence for a couple of moments and made their way to the unnamed town that spewed lava from its foundations for whatever reason.

"FUCK YEAH RPG!" Morita screamed as he dove from the second story of the bar and blasted a group of them with the oddly ineffective weapon "You get a grenade, and you get a grenade, EVERYONE GETS A GRENADE! Oh…I died. It's all up to you guys"

"Dammit Morita" Saya sighed as she and Takashi boarded the bus that would take them to their next destination "You've died on every round. Aren't boys supposed to be good at this?"

"Bitchicus pleasicus. I, like every self-respecting teenage male, have a foolproof zombie-apocalypse plan complete with a code word" Morita responded smugly as he respawned armed only with his wits and a woefully ineffective pistol. Needless to say, he was soon downed.

"Oh really?" Saya responded with mock interest as she revived Morita for the umpteenth time "And what would that be? Don't spare the details"

"It's brilliant!" Morita beamed, painfully oblivious to Saya's sarcasm "I plan on journeying to the Cayman Islands on a Yacht full of supermodels. The code word is 'tiddlyshits' by the way."

"What will you eat?" Takashi inquired as he inexplicably purchased an AK-47 from a chalk drawing "And why would you need a code word in the first place?"

"Iguanas" Morita explained "I think everyone's wondered what they would taste like, and I'll be the first to know. And the code word is so I can call you and signal when to get to the boat. DUH!"

"…I don't even know where to begin" Saya sighed as she paused the game so Takashi could answer his phone

"Hey, don't worry" Morita smirked "You can come too if you promise to wear a swimsuit 24/7"

"I'm pretty sure you'd get nommed in the first five minutes" Saya retorted while standing and stretching "In all the zombie flicks I've seen, the loveable smartass never survives to the end of the movie. Unfortunately for you, one has to be intelligent in order to be a smartass. You're just an ass"

"Oh, my feelings!" Morita exclaimed as he fell on the bed clutching his heart "How will I ever recover?"

After dramatically convulsing and mock weeping, Morita melted onto the floor. Saya was unamused, and looked down on him with an arched eyebrow.

Morita stood, snatched the controller out of her hand, and held it above his head.

"You'd die almost immediately" He mocked while staring down at Saya "You could only scavenge things from the lower shelves, you couldn't eat anything out of a jar, and you'd have to lug your size…F?... jigglejogglers around"

Saya responded to this relatively valid argument by punching Morita in the stomach and retrieving her controller from her wheezing opponent. Takashi reentered the room, helped Morita up, and turned off the console

"Hey, what's the deal man?" Morita complained after he regained his breath "We were doing good"

"Hisashi called and asked to meet up" Takashi explained "He said it was important"

"Ok, where are we going?" Saya queried as she grabbed her jacket

"You guys don't have to come if you don't want to" Takashi began "Hisashi only mentioned me"

"We're a packaged deal hombre" Morita grinned "I'll repeat Saya's question: where are we going?"

"The usual spot" Takashi answered after smiling gratefully at the two "Thanks guys"

"That's what friends are for you dumbass" Saya responded kindly "Did Hisashi use his 'serious voice'?

Takashi laughed, and did a surprisingly good imitation of him as the trio exited the house.

"Yes, he did" Takashi grinned "What were you guys arguing about?"

"About who would last longer in the event of the zombie apocalypse" Saya responded while punching Morita in the shoulder "Obviously, it would be me"

"I pointed out that she's short, can't open jars, and would have to haul her gazongas around" Morita argued while rubbing his shoulder and pretending it didn't hurt

"Morita does bring up a good point" Takashi conceded "You're like… one-third boob. And canned things are likely to last longer, so if you can't open them it would be harder to find food"

"Do you have any idea how hard it is to be busty?" Saya argued as the two of them waited for the crossing light to blink "Sleeping on your stomach is nigh on impossible, my back hurts all the time, and I always find popcorn long after the movie is over nestled somewhere it doesn't belong. And don't even get me started on finding bras that actually fit and don't stab you repeatedly!"

"Well, I'll carry them to Mordor if you want" Morita offered gallantly "You have my sword!"

Saya punched him again, and they crossed the street and arrived at the normal spot: a public fountain. After tossing their customary offering into the water, they sat down to wait for Hisashi.

He arrived a couple of minutes later, and sat down next to Takashi

"Sorry I'm late, and I apologize for only bringing one hot chocolate. I thought I was only meeting Takashi" Hisashi repented

"It's no problem" Takashi stated with a smile "We'll just play rock-paper-scissors for it"

They did so, and Saya daintily sipped her hot chocolate while Hisashi began his narrative

"Ok, I've called you here today because there is a crisis" Hisashi announced

"He's doing the serious voice" Morita snickered

"Shut up Morita" Hisashi admonished "To continue, there is a crisis. As all of you know, Rei was held back. And I'm sure you've noticed that Rei's grades are the most important thing to her"

"By the way, how is she?" Takashi inquired "I haven't seen her in a couple of days"

"That's why I called for this meeting" Hisashi answered nervously "Rei…asked me out a couple of days ago"

After an awkward silence, Saya shattered the taciturnity

"Well, what did you say?"

"I turned her down" Hisashi answered softly, and Takashi laughed in relief

"You're a good friend" Takashi congratulated him, but Hisashi silenced him before he could continue

"Takashi, I love her" Hisashi insisted

"Then…then why did you say no?" Takashi asked slowly, trying to process this new information "And since when?"

"Since always Takashi" Hisashi answered fervently "I love her, and I desperately want to date her…but I refuse to be a second choice. She was obviously getting over you"

"What did I do?" Takashi asked in bewilderment as Saya grabbed his hand and gave it a comforting squeeze

"We have been friends with Rei since we were four" Hisashi answered stonily "She made a promise to marry you, and didn't leave your side since then. In all that time, did you even once make an attempt to reciprocate that feeling? Did you even notice the multitude of little things she did for you to make you happy?"

"Did you notice when she left her umbrella for you and walked home in the rain? Did you appreciate the effort she put into making chocolates for you on Valentine's Day? Did you thank her for always sharing her lunch when you forgot yours?" Hisashi listed off as Takashi hung his head "Takashi, she could only handle constant rejection for so long. Even if you didn't notice the innumerable amount of kindness she wasted on you…I did. I fell in love with her. I told her to wait a couple of days to sort her feelings out, and she did. She confessed to me, and I said yes. I don't need your permission to date her, or your blessing, but I do request that you be mature. Please respect Rei's choice, and know that I still regard you as my closest friend. I understand this is a lot to process, so please call me when you calm down"

Hisashi turned on his heel, and strode off after bidding Saya and Morita adieu. Takashi was dumbstruck, and sat cradling his head in his hands while Saya wrapped her arms around him and Morita awkwardly patted his shoulder. They sat there for a couple of minutes, and Saya shot a death glare at anyone who looked at them oddly.

"Well…" Takashi eventually choked out "This is officially the worst day of my life"


	10. Various Emasculating Refreshments

I don't anything associated with Highschool Of The Dead, Haganai, Toradora, Ore no Imōto ga Konna ni Kawaii Wake ga Nai, or anything else I intentionally or unintentionally reference. Pease note that this story contains strong language, descriptive violence, and adult humor. Please proceed with caution and discretion.

* * *

><p><strong>2 days before Z-day: Fujimi Academy 4:17 PM<strong>

Saeko Busujima was walking across the school courtyard when she felt something strike her shoulder. She turned around to see an expertly folded paper airplane flutter to the ground and the mohawked fellow she met at the baseball game waving excitedly at her. Expecting a confession, she steeled herself before striding over to him and greeting him politely

"Hello Mr. Kadekawa. How are you?"

"Uh…good" Morita stammered "You?"

"I'm well" Saeko answered "Did you need something? Or were you just practicing your paper-tossing?"

"Yes actually" Morita began "Saya said to give you this"

He held out a piece of paper, and after some urging Saeko took it and perused it

"It's just her phone number" Saeko stated uncomprehendingly "Why would I need this?"

"Fuck if I know" Morita shrugged "I'm not gonna meddle in bitch-business"

After quelling the urge to send a jab at his throat, Saeko politely thanked him and Morita went on his merry way.

_At least he didn't confess_ Saeko mentally mused as she dialed the number on the note _I suspect I would have had to use my bokken to fend him off_

The phone rang a few times before Saya eventually picked up. When she did, Saya immediately shushed her and put her on hold for a couple of minutes

"Hey Saeko! Wait…do you mind if I call you Saeko? Oh, who gives a shit. Anyway, I have great news"

"Ok…what?" Saeko hesitantly replied, somewhat overwhelmed

"Everything is going as planned" Saya explained excitedly "And I'm sorry for shushing you before. I'm actually at Takashi's house, and I didn't want him to know how excited I am"

"Miss Takagi, I have no idea what you're referring to" Saeko answered while smiling to herself "Why are you so enthused?

"Firstly, call me Saya. Secondly, don't try and pretend you haven't had visions of Takashi's ass dancing in your head"

Saeko blushed, and took a few seconds to compose herself before responding "Miss…Saya, I will have you know that I'm not a pervert"

"Uh huh" Saya replied slyly "Suuuuuure. Anyway, Takashi's… whatever he had with Rei officially ended three days ago, and now would be the perfect time to swoop in"

"But Saya…how do you know he would even be interested in me?" Saeko replied softly "And I would feel guilty for manipulating him"

"Hey, don't talk like that" Saya softly admonished "Takashi is going to love you. And if it doesn't work out, I'll take the fall. You have nothing to worry about"

"Why would you do that?" Saeko queried "I'm practically a stranger. Why would you help me?"

"Well, I admit it's partly for my benefit too" Saya conceded "Rei and I have never been particularly close, so I haven't ever had a female friend to do, you know, girl stuff with. If you and Takashi click, it benefits all of us. So…will you at least try?"

Saeko was touched, and smiled slightly before replying "Saya, I'll do my best. But I haven't really gone on a date before. Want to have a practice run?"

"I'd love to!" Saya replied gleefully "You know the fountain by Tooya Station?"

"I do" Saeko answered "I'll meet you there"

Saeko hung up the phone, and some passerby looked at her oddly as she smiled to herself and left with a spring in her step

* * *

><p><strong>At the usual spot: Tooya Station<strong>

"So…you've prepared flashcards" Saeko apprehensibly noted as Saya sipped her fourth hot-chocolate.

"You have a problem with that?" Saya challenged as she aggressively shuffled the cards

"Well, no. But…why?" Saeko inquired as Saya hissed at a group of boys that approached them. Saeko smirked as they fled back to safety.

"Because I watched Hitch yesterday" Saya nonchalantly explained "I'm going to be the Will Smith to your Kevin James"

"So…that makes Takashi our metaphorical Eva Mendez?" Saeko queried as Saya nodded the affirmative

"Yes, it does. It's actually a pretty good comparison" Saya smirked "With both of them; it's all about dat ass"

Saeko blushed, and Saya pointed at her and laughed. After regaining her composure, Saeko graced the other girl with a smile.

"This is actually pretty nice" Saeko admitted while perusing the offered flashcards "I've never had any girl-time before"

"Yeah, I know the feeling" Saya responded "I only hang out with Takashi and Morita"

"Well, let's make this a regular occurrence" Saeko offered with a warm smile

"Lets" Saya nodded, and then stood up "Although, I'm afraid I'm going to have to leave you now"

"Why?" Saeko asked "Did I do something to offend you?"

"No, nothing like that" Saya hastily clarified "Takashi is going to be here in a couple of minutes and I'm not going to be a third-wheel"

"He's what?" Saeko panicked as Saya handed her the flashcards

"I told him I was going to meet him here" Saya hurriedly clarified "Just make up some excuse about why I didn't show up. If there is a lapse in conversation, and I suspect that there will be since Takashi's a dumbass, consult the flashcards. Good luck!"

Saya flashed a smile at her, and fled around the corner while Saeko sat back down.

_She could have warned me _Saeko mentally complained as she needlessly adjusted her skirt _I just came from Kendo practice and I probably look like shit_

Seeing that she was alone, the same group of boys tried to approach her. Saeko shot them a god-tier death glare, and the thoroughly emasculated group once again turned on their heels and sounded the retreat.

After twiddling her thumbs for a couple of minutes, she sighed and went to a drink machine to buy a bottle of water. After some mental deliberation, she purchased one for Takashi as well.

_I've got this _Saeko assured herself _I'm Saeko Busujima. I've been confessed to by forty percent of the student body. I've been the female Kendo national champion for two years running. I am strong, I am smart, and I am sexy._

After psyching herself up, she strode over to Takashi with confidence after spotting him exit one of the train cars. When he saw her, his eyes bulged and he opened and closed his mouth a couple of times before eventually greeting her

"Uh…hi Miss Busujima. I'm sorry; I didn't expect to see you here. Saya said she was going to meet me at the usual spot"

"And where would the 'usual spot' be?" Saeko inquired innocently while flashing him a smile

"Guh…uh…the fountain" Takashi stammered while pointing in the general direction of the square "That one. There"

"Such eloquence!" Saeko praised "Lead me to this fountain. I want to see what's so special about it"

And so a bewildered Takashi led a bewitching Saeko to the usual spot, and a charming impromptu date ensued

* * *

><p><strong>Outside a coffee shop: Tooya station<strong>

"Your disguise sucks ass" Saya complained as she claimed the chair opposite Morita and needlessly smoothed her skirt

"Bitch please" Morita responded airily as he adjusted his fake moustache "I'm a master of stealth. And how dare you make fun of me! You look like a female hipster. A chickster? Whatever."

Saya adjusted the massive stocking-cap concealing her highlighter hair, and shot Morita a rude finger gesture before exclaiming "They've made it to the fountain!"

"Hakuna your tatas" Morita responded while making shushing noises "That's only the first checkpoint. Did you give her the flashcards?"

"Of course I did" Saya retorted "I'm a genius. I don't forget things"

"Trust me, I know" Morita deadpanned "Look at those losers, they look pissed"

Saya looked at the unfortunate twice-denied group of males, who were currently glaring daggers at Takashi, and shared a look with Morita

"Think they'll try anything?" Saya inquired

"Maybe" Morita shrugged "But fret not, I have devised an elegant solution"

Saya watched with apprehension as Takashi stood up and shrugged, then with approval as Saeko led him into a clothing store across the street.

One of the three unnamed emasculated gents stood up and pointed angrily at the clothing store mentioned previously while the other two nodded in agreement

"Saya, I need your hot chocolate" Morita announced dramatically

"Well, lukewarm chocolate would be a better term" Saya corrected before taking off the lid and handing the half-full cup over to him "Why do you need it?"

"You'll see" Morita smirked "I'm afraid you'll have to complete the mission alone. Don't mourn me"

Saya shrugged, and Morita stood and strode towards the threesome

Upon reaching them, Morita grabbed one of them by the shoulder, turned him around, and splashed the drink in the unfortunate gentleman's face with a cry of "SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKER!" before scampering off and laughing uproariously.

As is the case with most people, the chap took exception to having a reasonably warm beverage tossed in his face. The three of them began their pursuit of Morita, and Saya saluted her fleeing comrade as he sped around the corner

* * *

><p><strong>In an innocuous clothing store: Tooya Station<strong>

_I wonder what that was all about_ Saeko mused as she watched a mustachioed rogue sprint down the sidewalk opposite the shop

"Miss Busujima? What are you looking at?" Takashi inquired as he walked over to her carrying some shirts

"Someone just got a drink thrown in their face" Saeko answered with a smile "It was one of the boys that was glaring at you earlier"

"Good, I was afraid that they were going to beat me up" Takashi grinned "I didn't want to get the crap kicked out of me for a second time this week"

After an awkward pause, Takashi blessedly broke the silence

"Hey…I never did get to thank you for that" Takashi blurted out while staring a hole in the floor "So…thanks for helping me"

"It was my pleasure" Saeko graciously accepted "There's no need to be embarrassed"

"How could I not be?" Takashi nervously laughed while shifting the shirts to his other hand

"Mr. Komuro…you are a courageous man" Saeko insisted while tilting his chin up so they were looking eye-to-eye "There is nothing to be ashamed of. By the way, go with the blue shirt"

After Takashi regained the ability to breathe and think coherently he hurriedly fled back to the men's section to return the reject shirts to their rightful place.

After Takashi returned, and Saeko reminded him that he had to actually pay for the shirt, the two of them left the store

"Hey…uh…call me Takashi" He stammered "Since you saved my a…butt, I think that you've moved passed the acquaintance stage. Um…assuming that's alright with you. And…I think I owe you a meal. It's the least I can do"

"Well, aren't you a gentleman!" Saeko smiled as she sarcastically curtsied "Repaying my kindness with food. Real smooth."

Takashi hung his head in shame, and Saeko chuckled at him before apologizing

"Takashi, I'm just fucking with you" Saeko teased "You need to learn how to take a joke. A meal would be lovely"

Takashi gazed at her stupidly as she held her arm out to him. After she nudged him slightly, he entwined his arm with hers and she began to lead him to the crosswalk

"Although" She spoke sternly as the light turned green "I won't eat with you unless you call me Saeko"

"Are you sure?" Takashi responded apprehensibly after they crossed "I don't want to inconvenience you"

"I don't give a damn about my reputation" Saeko responded airily "How about a smoothie?"

"I love smoothies!" Takashi beamed, and then blushed as Saeko smiled at him

"How manly" Saeko taunted

"I'll have you know that it is perfectly acceptable for men to enjoy healthy fruity beverages" Takashi vehemently argued as he picked out a table "Do you mind sitting outside?"

"Not at all" Saeko replied "My favorite is strawberry"

"Mine too!" Takashi blurted out "I'll uh…I'll go get them"

"Thanks Takashi" Saeko smiled "I'll be here"

When Takashi returned carrying two small smoothies, he sat down awkwardly and began nervously sipping his drink. Saeko could practically see the gears turning in his head as he wracked his brain for a suitable topic of conversation. Unsurprisingly, she had to take the initiative

"So Takashi, what are your interests?" Saeko politely inquired

"Uh…baseball. Video games. Sleeping" Takashi listed off "And by the way, I got them to put protein in this. It's the most masculine smoothie ever"

"And you're sucking it" Saeko deadpanned "Nice. And I didn't know men were such interesting creatures! What an impressive list of hobbies"

Takashi facepalmed, and Saeko laughed melodically at his misfortune

"Well, men are pretty simple" Takashi admitted "And feel free to keep making fun of me if it makes you laugh. It's beautiful"

Now it was Saeko's turn to blush, and Takashi pointed at her and laughed triumphantly

"HA! And again: HA!" Takashi crowed as he unashamedly sipped his hella-manly smoothie "Can't handle your own medicine huh?"

"Fair enough" Saeko acquiesced with a smile "And thank you for this. It's a treat"

"You're welcome" Takashi responded while retuning the smile. After a couple moments of painfully obvious mental anguish, Takashi blurted out "I know this wasn't the best…outing. So…would you like to do it again sometime?"

Saeko gracefully smiled at him before nodding the affirmative "It's a date"

After watching Takashi squirm for a couple of moments, Saeko stood up and nodded toward the train station "You seem to get your ass kicked when I'm not around, so let me walk you home"

"Oh, hell no!" Takashi exclaimed as he stood up, threw his discarded smoothie cup into a nearby receptacle, and held his other arm out in one moderately smooth motion "I'll walk YOU home. At least let me do this one thing right"

Saeko raised an eyebrow at him, and then nodded in approval. Takashi grinned, and the two of them walked to the station arm-in-arm


	11. Otto's Modern Strife

I don't anything associated with Highschool Of The Dead, Haganai, Toradora, Ore no Imōto ga Konna ni Kawaii Wake ga Nai, or anything else I intentionally or unintentionally reference. Please note that this story contains strong language, descriptive violence, and adult humor. Please proceed with caution and discretion.

* * *

><p><strong>Z-Day 4:17 PM<strong>

It was a muggy, unpleasant morning and the job that Otto had to do was making it infinitely worse. After arriving at Tooya beach, Otto parked his car and walked down the pier to the boat that ferried tourists to the nearby island. The island itself was nothing special, just a useless pile of sand and palm trees.

Otto was contacted two weeks ago and told to pick up a bag and drop it in the beach-shack-thing on the island. He was also told that there was some European jackass that was supposed to go with him and "supervise". After buying his ticket from a worker at a kiosk who looked at him suspiciously, he made his way onto the pier.

_Old-ass bitch _Otto thought judiciously as he adjusted his hat and various bling _how dare she profile me like that! _After flashing his grill and whistling at a passing woman, he swaggered onto the boat.

Otto had explicit instructions not to look at the contents of the bag, so obviously he took a peek immediately after taking his seat. To his astonishment, when he unzipped the bag he discovered that (by his likely incorrect estimate) he was transporting at least 5 million Yen worth of cannabis. As he was drooling over the drugs in his lap someone sat down beside him. He hurriedly zipped the bag up while mumbling expletives and sat the bag protectively under his elbow.

Otto was thoroughly incensed, and he began to open his mouth to give this stranger a piece of his mind. However, upon looking at him he thought better of it.

_This must be the European asswipe _He thought to himself as he observed him out of the corner of his eye. The man was dressed like a tourist, with a long-sleeved white "I 3 Bishamontengoku" shirt and jeans. The image was made complete with a shitty looking camera on a strap around his neck. However, it was fairly obvious to Otto that he wasn't some starry-eyed tourist. Firstly, he was very tall and muscular and from what Otto could see had numerous scars on his hands and sunken knuckles.

The European looked down at Otto, looked at the bag, and shook his head and made admonishing "tsk-ing" sounds. Otto, for his part, was utterly terrified by the man's face. The flesh that wasn't covered by the bristly black beard that stretched from his Adams Apple to his cheekbones was covered in scars and he had a pock-mark on the left side of his forehead.

_His eyes are creepy as fuck _Otto mentally noted as the European turned his scarred face and discolored eyes away from him and gazed out to sea. _And he smells like rotten meat. Why did I have to get stuck getting supervised by this Euro-trash shit-stain? Does he even speak Japanese? _

"Hey. You. European dick-licker. I'm talking to you. Do you understand me?" Otto boisterously stated after working up his courage. Upon not being smited he smiled to himself _I don't even have anything to worry about. Sure he's scary as shit, but I'm packing. Ain't nobody gonna mess with me. _

The European obviously didn't get the gist of Otto's speech, because he just tapped his chest and said "Caine"

_Sweet zombie Jesus, I'm working with a goddamn caveman_ Otto thought as he repeated the gesture and said "Otto".

Upon arriving at the island, the duo disembarked and began walking along the shoreline to find the shady-looking shack. _I don't think we could stand out any more if we tried _Otto lamented _A blasian and a giant, just strolling along the beach. Fuckin perfect. _

They arrived at the shack, and Otto took the bag to the storeroom. Evidently, the shack's only supplies were water bottles and skimpy bathing suits that nobody in their right mind would wear. After meeting Caine at the threshold, Otto dialed his boss as they walked back to the boat.

"Hello sir. I dropped it off." Otto announced in a neutral tone

"Good" the oily voice answered "No problems?"

"Nope, none at all. As long as nobody, I dunno… lights all of it on fire and smokes it in a completely pointless and incredibly uncomfortable OVA episode or anything we should be golden."

"…alright then" the oily voice faltered, trying desperately to reconstruct the fourth wall "Drop off the European at the airport when you get to the mainland. I'll wire you your cut promptly."

Otto hung up, and he and Caine took their seats on the boat and began a very uneventful and uncomfortably silent trip back to Tooya beach.

After arriving back on the mainland, Otto's phone began to buzz and to his surprise he had seven missed calls. As he and Caine walked to his car, he opened the last one and placed the phone next to his ear.

After hearing the usual robotic voice demanding he empty his voicemail the message began. Otto was immediately deafened by his sister screaming "OH DEAR GOD OTTO WHERE ARE YOU? THE NEIGHBORS BIT MOMMY AND SHE IS TRYING TO GET IN MY ROOM AND… MOMMY! NO! MOMMYWHYAREYOULETMEGOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" And then unintelligible screeching and sounds that were like someone gutting a pig and throwing its organs in the air like confetti.

Otto began to panic, and in his fear he drew his gun on Caine. "I know you have a weapon. Give it to me NOW."

Caine, who was kicking a rock on passenger side of Otto's car, didn't understand and looked at him quizzically.

His panic quickly turned to rage and without warning he shot Caine in the leg. "Fuck you then!" Otto roared and then sped off to his home. On the way there he saw numerous wrecked cars, burning buildings, people that shuffled around eating other people, and he almost got hit by a sedan driven by a scared-looking girl.

After he arrived at his house with the fuel gauge on "E", he opened the front door cautiously and was struck dumb by what he saw. His brother, father, and grandmother were all trying to climb the stairs and lick the blood that was dripping down them. He watched as his grandmother tripped and fell in the pooling blood and broke her wrist with an audible SNAP, and then right herself with a frustrated groan and continue her attempt to climb.

"Dad? Little bro? Grandma? Are you guys ok? Where's mom? Where's Sadie?" Otto asked while walking towards his family slowly.

Upon hearing his voice, they began to shuffle towards him.

"Oh fuck… what happened to you guys?" Otto choked out, raising his gun "C'mon, someone speak to me. "

Otto reached out towards his dad, and hastily retreated when he was almost bitten.

"Oh God… no. I can't do this." Otto sobbed as he slowly backed away from his family and raised his gun "I'm so sorry… I wasn't here... I didn't know... "

Otto emptied the clip into his family, and staggered up the stairs to discover his mother bent over the corpse of his disemboweled sister. He gripped the pistol by the barrel and smashed their heads with the handle. After screaming and throwing the gun out of the window Otto made his way downstairs.

"This…this is a good thing" Otto mumbled to himself as he staggered out of his house onto the driveway "Mom won't ever nag me about finding a job, Dad will stop looking at me with disappointment in his eyes, Grandma will stop pestering me to join the army, I'll never have to deal with my bastard brother begging me for ice-cream or driving my sister to soccer practice… This… is… FANTASTIC! I'm free to do who… or whom… ever I want. I'm gonna skull-fuck the first bitch I see!"


	12. The Fellowship of Fujimi Academy

I don't anything associated with Highschool Of The Dead, Haganai, Toradora, Ore no Imōto ga Konna ni Kawaii Wake ga Nai, or anything else I intentionally or unintentionally reference. Please note that this story contains strong language, descriptive violence, and adult humor. Please proceed with caution and discretion.

* * *

><p><strong>Z-Day: Fujimi Academy<strong>

"Didn't he question why I wasn't there?" Saya queried as she and Saeko walked across the courtyard "I know he's stupid, but I didn't know he was THAT stupid"

"I just told him you had lady problems" Saeko shrugged "He didn't question it"

"That explains so much!" Saya smiled "He randomly bought me a teddy bear yesterday and I couldn't figure out why. Good call by the way; lady problems are the ultimate copout"

Saeko returned the smile, and the two of them stopped by one of the trees in the courtyard

"That's pretty sweet of him" Saeko stated while Saya nodded in affirmation

"Yeah, he's not very perceptive but he's a nice guy" Saya agreed, and then stared in confusion when her phone buzzed. She looked at the school building, and then laughed softly.

"Look up" Saya explained

Saeko did so, and saw a familiar dark-haired boy leaning off of the railing on the second floor and grinning like a maniac while exuberantly waving at them

Saeko smiled warmly, and joined Saya in returning the greeting

"Well, I have to get to class" Saya apologized as she started to move towards the main building "Enjoy your sparring session"

"Thank you, I will" Saeko replied gracefully with a polite bow "I hope your class is enjoyable as well"

* * *

><p><strong>At the second-floor balcony:<strong>

"So, the first thing you do after your suspension is skip class?" Morita joked as he joined Takashi near the railing

"I'm all out of fucks to give" Takashi shrugged as he lounged on the railing "And you're one to talk! What are you doing out here?"

"Can't a guy check on his friend?" Morita grinned "By the way, Saya told me you had a hot date. Care to explain?"

"Dude, it was awesome" Takashi smiled as he lazily swatted at some passing cherry blossoms "She's beautiful, and smart, and funny, and cool, and…and… lots of other stuff. We just…I dunno…clicked I guess."

"Uh huh" Morita snickered "That's a lot of stuff. What's your next course of action?"

"Oh, I hadn't thought of that" Takashi responded bleakly "Do you have a suggestion?"

"I recommend a sonnet" Morita responded while plucking an imaginary harp "Bitches love sonnets. And on that note, I'll take my leave. I'm gonna be hiding in the dorms if you need me"

"Sure man, I'll start composing. Or writing…whichever" Takashi responded as Morita laughed and walked inside

He spent a couple of moments daydreaming, and eventually decided to head inside and try to make it back for the rest of fifth period. As he was opening the door that lead to the second floor, he heard a scream.

After sprinting back over to the railing, Takashi almost hurled as he watched a woman get her throat torn out by one of the gym teachers. The rest of the instructors soon joined their cannibalistic coworkers, and after a brief moment of blinding terror Takashi realized he had to get inside and warn his friends.

After trampling a couple of unfortunate freshmen, Takashi tore open the door to the classroom and strode over to Hisashi

"Takashi, what's wrong?" He queried as he stood up "Did something happen?"

"Someone died near the front gate" Takashi explained as Saya grimaced, Kohta paled, and Rei looked at him as if he had sprouted a third arm "We need to get to the teacher's lounge"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Rei demanded as she strode over to him. The class was snickering at Takashi, and the hapless instructor feebly attempted to reestablish order

"I'm not making it up, the gym teachers ate each other" Takashi insisted "We need to get out of here. Everything is going to go to shit in a couple of minutes if we don't move fast"

"And why should we listen to you?" Rei pointed out "What is it you are trying to accomplish? Is this some sort of cry for attention?"

"Rei, please stop" Hisashi requested, and then turned his attention to Takashi "Are you serious? Is something bad happening?"

"Please, believe me" Takashi begged "I want you all to be safe"

Rei scoffed at him, and Hisashi assessed him stonily for a couple of moments before nodding

"I believe you" Hisashi announced "What do we do?"

"Follow me" a very relieved Takashi answered

Hisashi, Saya, a timid Kohta, and a cynical Rei followed him out of the classroom and into the hall. Takashi kicked open his locker, and pulled out two baseball bats. Hisashi shook his head when Takashi offered him one

"I've got a black belt in Karate. I'll be fine"

"Hisashi…how many zombie videogames have we played?" Takashi inquired tersely

"Uh…four I think?" Hisashi stammered

"And how long did we usually last when we were unarmed?"

"…not long"

"Take the fucking bat"

"Okay"

After a chastised Hisashi took the blunt instrument, Takashi pulled out his cellphone and dialed Morita's number

"Hey assbutt, why are you calling me?" Morita asked after picking up the phone on the fourth ring

"Tiddlyshits" was Takashi's only explanation

"…You're serious?" Morita inquired in a reverent tone "It's happening?"

"Yes, it is" Takashi confirmed "Can you meet us at the teacher's lounge?"

"Hell yeah I can!" Morita whooped "Although this huge erection will make it hard for me to run"

"Just be there" Takashi sighed "And…be careful"

"You know it bitch. Hey, and I'll pick up Nurse Shizuka along the way. Because…you know…tits"

Takashi sighed again, and hung up the phone. He then turned to address the assembled group

"I'm going to get Saeko. Morita is going to get the nurse. Get to the teacher's lounge and don't let anyone else in besides the people I've mentioned. We good?"

"I'll go with you" Kohta offered, and Takashi nodded gratefully

"Hisashi…please keep them safe"

Hisashi nodded, and Takashi heard Rei ask "Who's Saeko?" before he sprinted off in search of their resident samurai

* * *

><p><strong>In the Fujimi Academy Dorms:<strong>

"C'mon c'mon, hurry up!" Morita yelled at the green bar on his phone screen "You've been at ninety-seven percent for two minutes!"

Morita was working on his personal zombie apocalypse kit: an electric guitar, three cases of Red Bull, and once the download was complete: 11 gigabytes of porn

"EXCELSIAR!" Morita crowed as he shoved the phone into the duffel bag and shouldered it "Now that my future fappage is secured, my journey can begin!"

He picked up his guitar and strode boldly into the hall. After confirming that the other students were indeed absent and preoccupied with studious things (like being eaten), he raided the other rooms and stuffed anything he deemed valuable into his bag.

As you probably guessed, it was more porn and energy drinks.

He encountered his first zombie after exiting the dormitory compound. The zed in question was shuffling mindlessly towards the fence that separated the dormitories from the rest of the school.

Morita put his bag down, and with a cry of "GET KABONGED MOTHERFUCKER" he smashed the deadhead in its cranium with his trusty guitar

"That's what I'm going to call you" Morita cooed while petting the surprisingly sturdy instrument "My Kabonger. Originality be damned!"

And so Morita continued to quest for a porn staple: a busty nurse

* * *

><p><strong>After Leaving the Martial Arts Hall:<strong>

"I thought that nailgun would be more effective" Takashi lamented as he led Saeko and Kohta across the courtyard

"Yeah…me too" Kohta answered quietly "I've seen dozens of anonymous henchmen get taken out by one of these in action movies. I'm sorry…that was a wasted stop. Like there'd be a deadly nail gun in a school anyway…I'm so useless"

"It's ok man" Takashi replied absently as they approached the front entrance "It was a good thought"

The trio encountered the first hiccup in their escapade in the form of a sizeable group of ex-students amassed near the stairs that lead to the second floor. They shuffled around, their senses seemingly entirely absent, and occasionally nommed on their counterparts when they collided.

"It's like cannibalistic bumper cars" Saeko whispered to Takashi, and the two of them shared a chuckle

"Jesus Christ, are you laughing at them!?" Kohta demanded "Those are people in there! People that lost their lives!"

"So?" Takashi shrugged "I didn't like those fuckers when they were alive, why should I feel bad for them now that they're dead? Hirano, haven't you ever dreamt about a plague wiping out your class? I know I have. We're living the dream."

Saeko nodded in approval, and followed Takashi inside. Kohta stood in shock for a couple of seconds, digesting Komuro's words. Not wishing to be digested himself, he decided to stick with the charming duo and followed them inside the building

"I sure know how to pick my friends…" Kohta sighed as he watched Saeko and Takashi push a Walker down the stairs and laugh uproariously

* * *

><p><strong>Fujimi Academy: Second Floor<strong>

"So…where are we going?" Shizuka Mariwaka inquired as she flounced down the hall next to a very…excited…Morita

"Teacher's lounge" Morita muttered trying his damnedest to keep his eyes forward "Sorry about your assistant. What was his name?"

"Um…I don't remember" Shizuka replied airily "But he was a nice boy"

"…Right…" Morita responded after a couple of awkward seconds "Ok, stop. Hold on for a second"

Shizuka did so, and looked at Morita quizzically as he grabbed her shoulders and turned her to face him

"Ok, I'm just going to say it: can…can I…see them?" Morita stuttered, trying his best to formulate his desire into coherent speech

"See what?" The buxom nurse replied, ostentatiously oblivious

"Your…back muscles" Morita clarified

"My…my what?" Shizuka repeated

"You must have the most ripped lats ever!" Morita exclaimed with accompanying hand gestures "How many sports bras does it take to work out? Can you rest on your tits? When was the last time you were able to sleep on your stomach? Do they get in the way when you eat? I MUST KNOW"

Shizuka looked at him like he was crazy for a couple of seconds before giggling at him

"What a pleasant surprise!" Shizuka smiled "I thought you were going to ask me to show something else…like every douchebag in every passing car ever"

"Your magnificent mammarians?" Morita inquired, suddenly the perfect gentleman "Don't get me wrong, they're impressive. Really impressive. However, I wouldn't ask you to degrade yourself for my amusement…unless you're offering of course. Then, by all means, please do so"

"I'm not sure if I want to hug you, or slap you" Shizuka replied as she shook her head "Eating is a challenge, and working out is even worse. Um…I haven't been able to sleep on my stomach since…uh…since I was fourteen I think. What was the other thing you asked?"

"Can you sleep on them?" Morita impatiently reminded her

"Oh, of course I can" Shizuka smiled "They're built in headrests"

Saeko, Takashi, and Kohta arrived just in time for Shizuka's explanation about the numerous benefits of chest-pillows and Morita grinned at them as they approached the blonde duo.

"Happy apocalypse everyone! Miss Shizuka and I were just discussing the merits of…uh…damn, I had something for this…"

"Uh…alright" Takashi faltered "Well, we should probably…"

"BOOB BUTTRESSES!"

"Right…" Takashi sighed as Morita preened and Saeko facepalmed "Let's go meet up with the others"

The group, their numbers bolstered, slowly but steadily made their way through the catacombs of the academy's hallways. After a frustrating amount of wrong turns, they eventually found the teacher's lounge.

"That's the last time I ask her for directions" Takashi whispered to Saeko while nodding his head at Shizuka

"It's not her fault" Saeko replied softly "You should have been able to follow 'it's the door next to the big window' just fine! Besides, men aren't supposed to ask for directions"

After shooting Saeko a halfhearted glare, Takashi pushed the door open and was almost bowled over by the smell

"Oh thank God you're here" Rei sighed in relief as she shoved Takashi out of the way and dragged Shizuka to the bathroom "There's someone in here that needs your help"

Morita was about to make a joke, but was interrupted by Saya who silenced him with a preemptive foot stomp

Takashi poked his head around the corner and looked in the small faculty bathroom. There was a girl with a gaping wound on her left flank who was held still and gagged by Rei as Shizuka began some impromptu stitching

"Who is that?" Takashi demanded "And why did you let her in here?"

"Her name is Niki Toshomi" Saya answered "Hisashi rescued her after Ichijou pushed her down the stairs and ran off. One of the…things…bit her"

Takashi winced as Toshomi's screaming grew louder, and sat down in a chair and cradled his head "All of this…it didn't seem real until now. That girl in there…she's going to die"

"Hey, we don't know that" Hisashi argued "There's a chance she'll pull through"

"No Hisashi, there isn't" Takashi answered bleakly "You know that"

As if to accentuate this prophetic proclamation, Toshomi's thrashing abruptly ceased. Shizuka immediately felt for a pulse, and after a couple of moments she sighed and shook her head

It was a very somber fellowship that made their way to the parking lot. The silence was only broken by Kohta emitting a very unmanly shriek when half of a zombie fell from the roof and began doing the backstroke towards him

The eight of them filed onto the bus, and Shizuka deliberately ran over the torso as they fled the overrun school grounds and into the burning city. The renewed silence persisted until they stopped at a gas station

"Hey…can I borrow your phone?" Morita asked Takashi

"Sure" Takashi responded while handing him the device "Going to call your folks?"

"Yeah, I doubt they'll pick up though" Morita answered "I just happened to think of that guy we used to hang out with in middle school, and I thought I'd try his number. I wonder if he's doing alright"


	13. Pans and Practicalities

I don't anything associated with Highschool Of The Dead, Haganai, Toradora, Ore no Imōto ga Konna ni Kawaii Wake ga Nai, or anything else I intentionally or unintentionally reference. Please note that this story contains strong language, descriptive violence, and adult humor. Please proceed with caution and discretion.

* * *

><p><strong>Z-Day: 3:30 PM<strong>

Kodaka Hasegawa sprinted through the halls of 's academy. As usual, his classmates parted before him like the red sea. Coincidentally, the metaphor was rather apt because many of the students were missing limbs or being nommed on by their reanimated counterparts.

_What's going on? _Kodaka thought to himself while fending off a zombie with a textbook_ I guess it is good to know that I finally have a use for Art History. _

After shoving the undead menace down a flight of stairs, Kodaka ran to the most logical place he could think of to find a weapon to battle the hordes of the undead: The Home Economics classroom. He frantically searched the drawers and with a shout of triumph brandished his weapon: an iron skillet. After securing the door with a desk, he pulled out his cellphone and dialed his sister's number.

"Ku ku ku… why dost thou call me my kindred?"

"Kobato, listen to me: go home right now, lock the door, and turn off the lights. Something bad is happening and I want you home now where it is safe."

"But big brother I don't understand, why…"

"Don't argue with me Kobato! I'm going to the clubroom and then I'll come and get you ok?"

"…Ok. Hurry. "

After hanging up, Kodaka began his dangerous trek across the school grounds to the accompanying chapel. He stood at the top of the stairs and overlooked the courtyard and shuddered at what he saw: a couple members of the track team and their coach were being chased by a group of their former teammates.

Without warning, a girl tripped the teacher and she was instantly set upon and devoured. Even at the top of the stairs Kodaka could hear her screams and the sound of limbs being torn asunder. As he watched the Track Team members escape to the parking lot he felt disgusted by the utter deplorability of their actions.

Skillet in hand, Kodaka descended the stairs and slipped quietly out of a side door. _This is where we shot our movie _he noted to himself noting the grassy knoll in-between the adjacent buildings _I still think it was stupid that I had to play the little brother._

After mentally slapping himself for reminiscing, Kodaka stopped at the edge of the school building and gazed at the final leg of his journey. There were two ways to go, and both looked equally shitty.

His first option was that he could descend, cross the courtyard, and climb a helical staircase before making the final dash to the church. The second was taking a direct route and crossing the narrow bridge where he and Yozora compared answers after midterms.

There were eight of his reanimated classmates below him in the courtyard, and four on the narrow causeway. Of course, this would be no problem for a bonafide zombie slaying badass. However, Kodaka was under no such illusion. Now that his adrenaline was wearing off, the skillet was beginning to get heavy and he knew he wasn't a runner.

_I'll just have to play this smart _he thought to himself as he took off a shoe. _I'm standing in plain sight, so they can't see me. Or smell me I guess. _And with that he dropped his shoe off of the balcony and it landed with an echoing CLOMP. Immediately, the zombies' heads turned towards the noise and after some nauseating recalibration their bodies followed suit.

_Eureka! _Kodaka thought and took off his other shoe. _If I can hit the metal railing on the other side, they will follow the sound and I can tiptoe across_. Unfortunately for our pan-plundering protagonist his projecting prowess was paltry at best, and his presumably precise and prolific pelt only went a portion of the purlieu that Kodaka projected and plopped on the periphery of the perimeter. Now the quartet of undead was standing in the middle of the bridge, clustered around Kodaka's discarded footwear.

_Well shit. Ok, plan B. _Kodaka walked over to the railing in front of him, and slammed the skillet down on it with all his might. The ensuing CLANG was deafening, and all of the undead in the area began to respond to the sound.

Those on the causeway abandoned Kodaka's shoe and began to seek out the noise in hopes of a meal, while the Walkers in the courtyard below clustered against the wall below with their hands raised as if expecting manna from the heavens. Kodaka could also hear the zombies in the school building falling down the stairs in search of the noise.

He then stepped away from the railing, his shoeless feet making little noise and he simply perambulated around the zombies and across the causeway. He noted with relief that the church seemed untouched, and pushed open the front door. What he saw inside shook him to his core.

In direct contrast to the serene alfresco of the church, the interior was a bloodbath. There were limbs (some still twitching) littering the ground and organs were strewn asunder. Kodaka added bile to the list as he emptied his stomach after almost tripping on a liver. He could hear groaning and shuffling from a room to his left, and quickly reinforced the closed door with a candlestick.

He walked down the hall, his socks drenched in blood and making a squelching sound, with a feeling of resounding dread. He poked his head around the corner, peering into the pew-filled room where Sena had dropped the bombshell that they were betrothed and breathed a sigh of relief.

"Kate! I'm so glad you're alright! What happened? Is Maria ok?"

Kate was sitting in one of the pews apparently praying. She quickly looked up with surprise on her face, and her expression softened upon seeing him.

"Hi Kodaka" she greeted with a sad smile as she stood up

And that was when Kodaka noticed the bite mark on her leg.

"The other sisters tried to eat me and Maria" she explained while Kodaka walked toward her "I managed to lock them in one of the conference rooms, but one bit me after I shoved Maria out of the way"

Kodaka sank to his knees in between the pews and started to cry. "I...I don't know what to do." He choked out in-between keening.

"Shhh, don't cry Kodaka" Kate said after sitting down in front of him. She cupped his face in her hands and wiped his his tears with her thumbs, obviously trying to hold back tears of her own. "I would like a favor though, can you stay with me? You know…until the end?"

Kodaka, beyond words, could only nod in affirmation.

Kate smiled and then lightly shoved him so that he was sitting with his back to the side of the pew, and scooted closer to him so her back was lying against his chest and his chin rested on her head. After placing his arms around her waist she melted into his shaky embrace and sighed contentedly. "I can't help but find the irony of all this pretty amusing" she announced with a giggle "all it took was the end of the world for you to hold me. "

She could feel his chest contracting as Kodaka tried to stop the sobs from escaping, and felt a dampness on her head as the tears freely flowed. They just sat there for a while in silence, bathed in the amber light of the setting sun shining through the windows. She could feel the infection spreading, and Kodaka felt completely helpless watching her suffer.

"Kodaka? Can you take care of Maria? I said that I was going away for a while, and that you would take care of her…Please?"

"Of course I will" Kodaka croaked out while holding her tight "Anything you want"

"Good." Kate said softly "In that case, I have a final request. Can… can you tell me you love me? Even if you don't mean it, I want to hear it at least once."

"Kate, I love you" Kodaka whispered as his hands wrapped around her throat "And I won't let you be one of those things"

Her hands moved weakly in protest, and her legs drummed the floor as Kodaka squeezed harder and harder until eventually her coughing and convulsions ceased. His hands left her, crimson indentions of his fingers on her neck indicating his guilt, and he grabbed his skillet. He brought it down on her head again and again, wincing at the repulsive sound it made breaking her skull repeating "I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'M SORRY I'M SORRY" until he collapsed blinded by tears and brain matter and let out a howl of pure hurt and brokenness. He screamed until his throat was raw and curled up into a ball. His being was still wracked by sobs, but his eyes were dry. Kodaka was empty.


	14. Genesis

I don't anything associated with Highschool Of The Dead, Haganai, Toradora, Ore no Imōto ga Konna ni Kawaii Wake ga Nai, or anything else I intentionally or unintentionally reference. Please note that this story contains strong language, descriptive violence, and adult humor. Please proceed with caution and discretion.

* * *

><p><strong>Z-day: Fujimi Academy gymnasium 4:22 PM<strong>

Koichi Shido lounged against the bleachers and surveyed the surging mass of humanity before him. Upon hearing the announcement, students and faculty alike had flocked to the gym seeking shelter from the scourge that had overtaken their school. Almost immediately, panic had set in.

Shido had always found crowds interesting. He found it immensely satisfying that all singularity ceased to exist when a normally logical and cognizant individual joined a group. The ensuing asinine assemblage usually operated with the intelligence of a three year old, and could be persuaded to do just about anything. Assuming of course that the correct catalyst was provided, and the speaker possessed enough eloquence.

Many of the crowd yelled things like "Someone should do something!" and "I need to get to my family!" but nobody actually acted on their exclamations and remained huddled in the middle of the room like cattle.

Shido followed the pointing finger of one of the students, and looked out towards the main school building. Through an open window he could see an overweight student preparing to jump from the roof of the school. The crowd gasped in horror as the poor chap leapt from the building, and then screamed as the student landed face-first on the pavement with a scrumptious splat akin to dropping a grocery bag full of vegetable soup. After shooting a look at Kurokami, Tsunoda, and Yukki, Shido decided to act.

He straightened his tie, and strode up the stairs and onto the center stage. Upon his cue, Kurokami turned on a microphone which Shido tapped to get the crowd's attention

"Ladies and gentlemen please turn your attention to me" Shido began, and after jumping at the noise, those assembled gazed upward at him.

"What we need is a plan" Shido began, expertly garnering the attention of those assembled

"And I suppose you have it?" One of the more belligerent students piped up

After nodding at Tsunoda and mentally marking the heckler, Shido continued his speech with aplomb

"As it so happens, I do" Shido affirmed smoothly as he paced across the stage "Firstly, we need weapons. I suggest raiding the athletic facility. Once we have sufficient armaments, we can send teams to scavenge for food and medicine. After attaining the keys from the teacher's lounge, we will have access to the cars in the lot"

Shido smiled warmly at the faculty members before continuing "Then, of course, we can round up everyone's family members and bring them here to safety"

The crowd nodded and sporadically cheered as Shido continued

"My fellow survivors…I know the outlook seems bleak but I am here to assure you that hope endures. Human beings are resilient. Our race has survived innumerable conflicts, endured natural disasters, and defeated a myriad of diseases to claim our spot at the top of the food chain. Now, there is a pandemic that is shaking our pedestal on the peak of the evolutionary concatenation. I am here to ensure you that we will not be defeated by this scourge"

"As I survey the destruction of our civilization, I do not grieve. I look upon the wreckage and I see an opportunity. A chance for humanity to rise from the ashes of the earth like the phoenix of myth and to be born anew in the fires of nascensy! This is the dawn of a new age, a neoteric world order, and we are at the helm. So I ask you…will we simply succumb to this pestilence? Or will we ascend to our rightful place and remake the world in our image?"

As the exhilarated throng screamed the affirmative, Shido closed his eyes and let their adulation wash over him like a wave. He smiled kindly at his new flock, and silenced them with a wave before concluding his narrative

"It is said that God created the world in seven days…I bet we can do it in five"

* * *

><p>Author's Note: and on that tastefully tantalizing cliffhanger, part 1 ends. New chapters will be out soon. Also, if any of you are aspiring writers yourselves and want some constructive criticism I would be honored to offer Betaing services. Thanks for reading!<p> 


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